Clearly, he didn’t believe me. Maybe I was being stupid. He was a deputy. What if something happened to Ryder? He could help me. Then again, if Ryder really did just need space from me, then I would look like an idiot, storming into his office with a deputy in tow.
“Do you need something?” he asked.
I didn’t know what to do. But my gut was churning, telling me to check on Ryder and make sure he was okay. So what if I looked like an idiot? I was worried about him.
“Yes, I need you to come with me.”
“For what?”
“I haven’t heard from Ryder since last night. He normally comes home right after work, but he never came home last night. And I’ve called and sent messages, but haven’t heard anything yet.”
Nodding, he motioned me forward. “Okay, let’s start by checking out his office, and then we’ll take it from there.”
“Thank you,” I sighed in relief. “It’s probably nothing. I’m sure he’s busy or just forgot to call, but I’d feel better knowing for sure.”
“Of course.” We walked in silence for a minute before he asked a question I wasn’t quite prepared to answer. “So, living together, huh?”
“What?”
“Well, you said he comes home. That implies that he lives with you.”
“Uh…well, not really. I mean, he stays there every night, but— it’s not like that. I mean, it’s like that, but it’s not,” I said, trying and failing to explain myself.
“Okay,” Remi chuckled.
“What I mean is that we’re together, but not like that.”
“So, he’s living with you, but you’re not dating.”
“Um…” Frowning, I tried to think of the best way to explain this that wouldn’t make me sound like some kind of escort. “He’s not living with me. He just stays there.”
“Well, that’s clear as mud.”
“I mean, we’re not in a relationship. It’s…complicated.”
“Sounds like it.”
I stopped suddenly, turning to face the tall, handsome deputy, wishing he could see this through a man’s eyes so I didn’t have to explain it. “Look, you know what it’s like. You’re with a woman and things are great, but you don’t want a relationship.”
“Then why would I be staying with her every night?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
That was a good question. One I didn’t have an answer for. “Well…because there’s a friendship agreement.”
“Like…I’ve sworn to be her friend?”
“Sort of.” God, this was so awkward. “Um…it’s more like you’ve vowed to make it about more than just sex.”
“So, a relationship,” he ventured.
“No, not a relationship. A…working sexual—” I flushed hard at the wording I’d chosen. “Not working. I mean, not in the sense that it’s working like being paid.”
“Uh-huh.”
“It’s a functioning sexual relationship with companionship.”
“So, you’re fuck buddies,” he grinned.
Rolling my eyes, I stormed away from him. The last thing I needed was to explain myself to anyone, especially when I was terrible at doing it.
