Not that I cared.
I licked and sucked at the ice cream, enjoying that for once in my life, I didn’t care if what I ate made me fat.
“Ellie!”
I ignored the pounding on the window, grabbing the remote to find a good movie to watch. Settling onWaterloo Bridge,I decided it was just depressing enough to soothe my battered soul.
Romances were out. So were comedies and action movies. I wanted to cry, and cry hard. I wanted to feel like something other than what was happening to me was causing these tears to spill down my cheeks on an hourly basis. So, I found every sad movie I could think of, and spent my days and nights stuffing my face as the tears flowed with the storylines.
I ignored the sound of the window opening in my bedroom, along with the huff of Josie trying to climb over the table without knocking everything over. When she yelped and fell to the ground with a thud, I turned up the volume on my movie.
“I’m okay!” she shouted. “No need to worry about me!”
Seconds later, she walked into the living room, grimacing at what she saw.
“When was the last time you showered?”
I shrugged, not finding it all that important.
“You can’t see Ryder like this. There’s no way he’ll ever sleep with you again.”
“That’s not a problem. He hasn’t even bothered to stop by since the?—”
I sucked in a ragged breath as the words refused to leave my lips. As much as I didn’t want to remember, I couldn’t stop the images from flashing through my mind. There was no erasing what had happened.
“He didn’t stop by because he’s been busy.”
“Too busy to comfort his fuck buddy,” I said, stabbing my ice cream angrily before scooping out another spoonful.
“Fuck buddy is a terrible term to describe what he is to you,” she said, flopping in one of my chairs.
“That’s all we are,” I muttered. “His words. He said he couldn’t offer me more. He’d just gotten out of a relationship, and he wasn’t ready to be in another one.”
“He spends all his time with you!”
“Because I stipulated that I needed a friend. So, he spends time with me.”
“And you don’t call that a relationship?”
It was beginning to feel like one. Right up until the point I walked away from him, and he didn’t come after me. “What’s the point? It’s not like it matters. I’m leaving.”
“Yes, I can see that based on the way you’re snuggled into your couch, stuffing your face with everything in your fridge.”
I held up the container. “This was from the freezer.”
“And when you run out of food, what’s your plan?”
“To move.” I licked my spoon, scooping the last of what was left from the container. I was quickly running out of things to eat, and when it was gone, I would have no choice but to move on.
“Yep, I can totally see that. You run out of food, so you move to a new town and start over.”
“Sounds pretty good to me.”
I sucked in a breath as a cramp stabbed my belly. Maybe the whole container of ice cream wasn’t a good idea.
“And what about this house? You love this house.”
I looked around, trying to see it the way I once did. It used to mean everything to me, but now? “Eh.”
