I should be happy for her.
Instead, I just felt hollow.
Cassian's words echoed in my mind.
You're scared she's going to leave.
He was right.
I was terrified. Not just of losing an excellent RNFA. Not just of Emma losing someone she'd grown attached to. Not just of my apartment reverting to empty silence.
I was scared of losingher.
Mireya.
And I couldn't pinpoint when that had happened. When she'd stopped being just my employee and become someone I couldn't imagine not having around.
I set down August's card and stared at the work I brought home. It used to be enough to fill my life. Now I felt nothing looking at it.
When did work stop being everything?
Emma's laughter drifted from the living room. I heard Mireya say something I couldn't make out, followed by more laughter.
The pizza must have arrived.
I should go out there and eat dinner with them.
But I couldn't move. I couldn't face Mireya knowing she held August's offer, knowing everything was about to change, and pretending everything was fine.
My phone buzzed.
Emma
Dinner's here. Stop hiding in your office.
I smoothed down my shirt—an unnecessary gesture—and headed out of my study.
They were in the living room when I got there. Pizza boxes filled the coffee table, and Emma had already claimed an entire box of breadsticks.
"There he is," she said. "Thought you were hiding from us."
"Just finishing work."
"You're always finishing work." She patted the couch next to her. "Sit. Eat. Pretend to be a normal human for five minutes."
I did.
Mireya was on the other end of the couch. She had already changed out of the flour-covered clothes, her hair damp. She caught me looking and her smile turned soft, almost tentative.
I looked away fast, grabbing a slice of pepperoni pizza, distracting myself with the adventure race Emma had put on the TV. She was yelling at the contestants, giggling and asking Mireya what would have been the best approach to every obstacle they encountered.
They laughed and I just listened and watched.
This was what our new normal felt like.
And I was terrified of losing it.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
