Sleeping with Chris might not have been my smartest decision, but it wasn’t a betrayal.
I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me about this when you were alive.
She considers pulling over into the breakdown lane to let it all out. She can’t, though; Duncan and Phoebe are waiting.
I don’t understand why you left me this letter to find after you died.
I’m angry with you. So angry.
Duncan’s name? It’s manipulative. I will never say his name without remembering you lied to me.
How can I love you so much and be so mad at you at the same time? How can you be gone and still hurt me?
She exits the highway then, parking in an empty turnoff for trucks along a dented guardrail. She leans back against the headrest and lets herself cry.
When Diana arrives home, her father meets her at the front door. “Do you have any idea why Duncan’s upset? He won’t tell us.”
“I’ll sort it, Dad. Thanks for trying.”
Diana shifts past him into the kitchen. Duncan and Phoebe sit at the table, eating scrambled eggs and bacon, Bear Bear on the chair next to Phoebe. Diana notices Phoebe is dressed for school with her hair neatly braided—thirty minutes before she needs to leave.The General,she thinks.
Diana kisses Phoebe’s forehead, spending an extra few seconds with her lips pressed against her daughter’s smooth skin. “Look at you already set for school. I love your outfit.” She gestures to Phoebe’s yellow dress and green leggings. “You look like a flower.”
“Grandma helped me pick it out.” Phoebe turns to Vivian. “Can I have more bacon?”
“May Ihave more bacon, and yes, you may,” Vivian says from across the room. “Diana, would you like some breakfast?”
“No, thanks.” Diana tries to embrace Duncan, but he stands up and moves out of her grasp. “I missed you, Duncan.”
“I have to leave.” He carries his plate to the counter, handing it to Vivian. “Thanks, Grandma.”
“Let’s talk after school,” Diana says.
“When after school? There’s a teacher in-service, so I have a half day. Will you be here when I get home?”
“A half day?” Diana looks at the calendar on her phone. Both kids have half days. Phoebe’s aftercare will fill the hours; Duncan is without a plan for the afternoon.
“You forgot.”
Of course she forgot, but she’ll keep that to herself.
“Why don’t we hang out, Duncan?” Francis says as he pours himself a cup of coffee. “I’ll pick you up from school. I can help you with your homework, or we can shoot some hoops.”
“I have this, Dad,” Diana says. As Duncan passes by on his way to the front door, she places a hand on his back. “Let’s meet at Sully’s for lunch. It’s a short walk from school. Afterward, you can finish your homework at the library before we pick up Phoebe.”
He frowns, his forehead wrinkled in deliberation.
“We’ll catch up. We’re overdue, yes?” Diana stares intently at Duncan, hoping to convey her message telepathically:I’ll explain. Be patient.“Meet you there at noon?”
“Fine.” He waves to his grandparents and leaves, coat in hand, without kissing Diana goodbye. It’s the first time he hasn’t reached out for her in months. The absence of that gesture hurts more than expected. She wraps her arms around Phoebe to steady herself, burying her face in her daughter’s hair.
Chapter Twenty-One
Diana has frequented Sully’s since she was a child. Located down the street from the library, Sully’s was always a greasy dive, famous for its bacon-and-sausage breakfast sandwich, until ten years ago, when Sully retired to Fort Myers to watch the Red Sox spring training, and his daughter Stephanie, Diana’s high school classmate, took over. Stephanie added kale salads and fruit smoothies to the menu and upgraded the Sanka-like coffee to fair trade beans from South America. Despite the changes, Sully’s remains the go-to spot in town.
When Diana enters the crowded café, she greets Stephanie and compliments her new electric-blue hair, the latest in a string of ever-changing coiffure colors. After placing a lunch order for herself and Duncan and picking up a large coffee, Diana sits at an empty table in the corner. Thanks to Sully’s seven-foot-tall, leafy ficus tree on one side and Stephanie’s prized Italian espresso machine on the other, the booth has the benefit of being insulated from other customers, a fact Diana realizes is important since she’s here to talk to her son.
She’s early to meet Duncan, and he’s likely taking his time. She could use the extra few minutes to settle herself. Diana didn’t accomplish anything at work this morning. The trip to Hamilton and the prospect of having to explain it—or at least part of it—to Duncan distracted her, making concentrating on library matters impossible. Plus, his basketball coach called earlier with upsetting news that she has to discuss with him.
