Diana’s stomach turns, and she presses the phone close to her ear. “What did you find out?”
He hesitates.
“Jonathan?” Diana’s anxiety increases, her agitation returns. The woman with the curly hair looks at her from behind dark, round sunglasses, and Diana worries she’s talking too loudly. “Tell me,” she says quietly.
“The thing is, Diana, I didn’t find anything. There’s no record of Tom ever being arrested in Vermont. I checked Massachusetts and North Carolina, too, to cover all the bases. There’s nothing.”
“Nothing? That doesn’t make sense.”
“Doesn’t it? In the letter, he mentions he never took responsibility for what he did. Therefore, there wouldn’t be any arrest records.” Jonathan’s voice falls into a whisper as if someone is in the room, and she strains to hear him over the crowd. “I really think you should focus on the Tom you knew, not the one who wrote that confusing, and frankly, strange, confession.”
A portion of the letter comes to Diana:I never owned up to what I did, a decision that was another mistake.
That woman with the curly hair and dark glasses is closer, only a foot or two away. Did she move, or did Diana shift without realizing it?
“Diana? Are you still there?”
“Yes, I’m here.” She stares at the woman, trying to place her. “What about the money? I reviewed our bank accounts, and there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. No odd deposits or unexplained money in or out of our checking or savings accounts.” Diana knew she wouldn’t find anything; she was the one who paid the bills and balanced their checkbook. She would have noticed if something were off. She looked anyway, though.
“Don’t worry about the money. It doesn’t matter. Put it out of your mind. The letter, too. Can you do that? Can you try?”
Duncan’s words come to her:Sometimes, I can’t remember him on my own. Like he’s only a story someone told me, not a real person.Diana thinks of Phoebe, too: how her daughter doesn’t remember sleddingwith Tom, or how much he loved Family Dinner. As the memories of Tom fade, their children are losing him all over again.
“If I were you,” Jonathan continues, “I’d let this all go and move on.”
If I were you.
How easy it is to tell someone else what to do with their life. Jonathan doesn’t have to live with the questions that trail along after the letter. The questions that will never get answered unless Diana makes uncovering the truth a priority.
She considers telling him about the intruder: the terror of having a stranger in her home, the worry about that missing photo no matter how many stories she concocts for why that person stole it, the constant fear they’ll return. Jonathan might take her more seriously if she does, but he also won’t keep it to himself, like Lakshmi has promised to do. He’ll call the police or her parents; he’ll force this latest development out into the open, and Diana will lose the little control she has over her life.
Her parents enter the gym through the side door, her father wearing a blue Alcott sweatshirt, her mother carrying a tote bag filled with what Diana anticipates will be healthy snacks for the kids and Gatorade for Duncan. The General will not be happy about Andrea’s candy purchase. Evan waves to them, and they climb up the bleachers, holding hands.
Diana wishes Jonathan responded differently; she wishes he validated her growing interest in finding answers, like Lakshmi had.
The jittery feeling from before expands into the hum of rage. Sweat breaks out on her temples, and her hands clench.Why didn’t Tom take this secret with him? Why is this mine to deal with?
“Diana, did I lose you?”
The humming fades, still in the background but quieter.
“I have to go. Phoebe’s calling me,” Diana says, looking at her daughter, M&M’s clutched in her hand, following Andrea and Noah back to their seats. Diana says a fast goodbye and hangs up. She turns to the woman to ask why she was eavesdropping, but she’s already down the bleachers, scurrying toward the door.
I’d let this all go and move on,Jonathan said.
As if it would be that easy.
As if she could ignore that Tom lied to her.
As if she could forget the intruder in her house, violating her privacy, her children’s safety.
Her children ... She sees how not wanting them to forget Tom and not fully knowing him are connected. The two ideas braid themselves together in a tight, thick rope of need she imagines winding around Duncan and Phoebe. That rope binds them to Tom, and she can’t let it break.
A plan begins to form. If Jonathan can’t find the information she needs, it’s time to visit Tom’s family in Vermont. Maybe they’ll be open to talking about Tom’s past. She can check out the archives of theHamilton Starwhile she’s in town, too.
Maybe I can get some answers,she thinks, energized by the hope this new idea offers.
As the game continues below, Diana turns back to her phone and texts Tom’s cousin.Hey Chris, she begins.
