‘For God’s sake, Reubyn.’ Miles rocks forward, spitting his words. ‘What are you playing at?’
‘All right, let’s not get carried away. It’s not that big a deal.’
‘Yes itis, Reubyn.’
Reubyn’s brow furrows and he pulls his head back defensively, like a boxer dodging a blow. ‘Calm down. I accept it isn’t ideal. But let’s not blow it out of all proportion. Compared to a murder, it’s pretty insignificant.’
Miles stands and begins gesticulating with his arms. ‘I think it would’ve been fair if I could’ve decided for myself if it was relevant. Honestly, Reubyn, you act like a bloody idiot sometimes.’
Reubyn looks wounded by that last comment. He stares at his own fidgeting hands for a moment, then glares at Miles. ‘Well, you haven’t been entirely honest yourself, have you? With Jessie for example.’
Polly winces. Reubyn’s words have changed the atmosphere, and the temperature seems to have suddenly dropped by a couple of degrees. Miles stares into his lap, and for a moment no one speaks.
‘Miles?’ Jessie’s voice is timid and confused.
Polly puts her face in her hands. ‘For God’s sake, Reubyn, why now?’
‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s the stress of ... of everything. I’m sorry.’ He turns to Jessie. ‘Forget I said anything, okay?’
Jessie ignores him; her eyes are trained on Miles. ‘What’s he talking about?’
Polly squeezes her eyes closed. She wishes they didn’t have to go through all this now. But they do. Polly is certain of that. Because if Miles doesn’t tell Jessie the truth, Polly will. If only to put him out of his bloody misery.
Chapter 44
Miles
‘Miles,’ Jessie repeats. ‘What is it you haven’t been honest with me about?’
Miles runs his hands over his face. Not for the first time this year, he wishes he could slip off into another dimension. Things weren’t supposed to turn out like this. Everything is going wrong. Jessie’s eyes are burning into him, demanding answers. ‘Let’s go to the bedroom and talk,’ he says.
‘No, it’s pitch-dark in there.’
‘I just think it would be better if we discussed it in private.’
‘And I think we should talk here.’ She folds her arms. ‘Whatever it is, these guys already seem to know about it. So, what’s going on?’
Miles bunches up his lips. He’s thought about this for days, how he’s going to explain it to Jessie, but now that the time has come, his mind has gone blank. ‘I was planning on telling you, butthis’ – he gestures in no particular direction – ‘is literally the worst possible context in which to bring it up.’
‘Bring what up?’
The silence is deafening. Even the rain has backed off, down to a light patter, as if the universe is straining to hear.
Miles exhales audibly. ‘There was a court case. Okay? I was accused of something, I didn’t do it, and I was acquitted. But it was recent, and I didn’t want you to judge me on it at first impressions, so I held off having this ... conversation. I just wanted to go a few weeks where life was normal and—’
‘You were accused of something. What was the something?’
Silence. Jessie’s face has taken on a dreadful gravity. She asks again. ‘What was thesomethingyou were accused of?’
‘Murder,’ Polly says, matter-of-factly.
Jessie looks at Polly, and when her eyes turn back to Miles, they are wide with shock and then, in an instant, they gleam with something desperate – haunted, even – that seems to bore into the darkest part of Miles’s soul. Her chin shudders. ‘Oh my God.’ She fans her face with her hands. ‘Are you for real? Who are you?’
Miles places a hand on her leg. ‘I’m the same person you—’
‘Don’t touch me.’ She stands. ‘Get away from me.’
Faith leaps to her feet, puts an arm around Jessie and shoots Miles an angry look before leading Jessie down to the front of the bus.
