“Truly. At some point, I came up with the idea to ask you the reason for your dislike of me. It was not until I determined on this course of action that I was able to find sleep.”
Elizabeth stared at him, her mouth slightly open. Mr. Darcy had lost sleep because of her? She could hardly believe it. And he had purposely sought her out? All this time, she assumed their meeting was a coincidence.
He continued, “We had not quite known each other a week yet, but your good opinion was already very important to me. From the day we first met at the bookshop, I was captivated by your beauty, your intelligence, and your open, cheerful manner. The more I learned of you, the more I wanted to know.”
Elizabeth’s heart was pounding, and she felt a little dizzy as she looked into Mr. Darcy’s eyes. He thought she was beautiful and intelligent?
“The storm’s devastation of Netherfield Park was an unfortunate event,” he said, “but it was a fortunate thing forme because it brought me into close proximity with you. I was able to spend time with you and get to know you. All of which only served to confirm what I already suspected—that you are a superior woman.”
His praise, his admiration, and his tender looks were about to be her undoing. She would be a puddle on the floor before long. Elizabeth was sure she was blushing bright red, but oh, to hear him speak so sweetly to her!
“I greatly anticipated your arrival in town in the hopes that we could continue spending time together, getting to know one another better. I do not wish to make you uncomfortable, Miss Elizabeth, but I must be honest. I have come to care for you. I would like to ask if you would allow me to court you?” he asked, watching her intently.
She held his gaze with a tender look in her eyes. “I am overwhelmed by your words. I am gratified by them. They are the sweetest, loveliest thing I have ever heard, and it was a dream come true because it came from you.”
At that, he reached for her hand and held it.
“But before I respond to your question, I have some questions of my own, and as you mentioned, there are some misunderstandings to resolve.”
He nodded. “Please, ask me whatever you wish to know.”
She looked away for a moment, then asked, “How long have you been planning to ask me for a courtship?”
“I have considered it since before I left Hertfordshire. However, I have been actively planning to request a private audience with you since you arrived in London.”
Elizabeth was pleased with his answer. She did not think Mr. Darcy an impetuous person, but she was relieved to know that he was not just attempting to salvage her impression of him after what she had overheard yesterday. Courtship had been his aim all along. He had been planning for days to request an audiencewith her for that very purpose. She understood now why he had chosen to begin their conversation with this first. He wanted his feelings and intentions stated in no uncertain terms before they addressed the misunderstandings.
“You told my uncle that you were concerned I may have gotten the wrong impression of you because of assumptions that were made. Can you explain what you meant?” Elizabeth asked.
“Yes. Georgiana informed me that you and she heard the conversation with Bingley and his sister through an open window. I am sure you recall Miss Bingley impugning bad motives to you and expressing her disapproval of Bingley’s admiration for your sister.”
At her nod, he continued, “Bingley told her that neither of us were pursuing you or your sister. The first thing I will say about that is even though I am sure Bingley was just trying to appease his sister so she would calm down, it was an unkind thing to say. Especially since you could have easily overheard it, and in fact, did overhear. I should also say that Bingley is not aware of my feelings for you. If you will be patient with me, I will explain why in a moment.”
“Very well.”
“There are two main reasons why I did not dispute Bingley’s words. The first and most important one is I did not feel at liberty to do so. I had not yet spoken to you of my feelings and therefore did not feel I had a right to respond in such a way.”
Elizabeth felt as if a breath of fresh air had swept over her. Of course! Of course he would not feel at liberty. She had not even thought of that.
“The second reason is that Miss Bingley is not entitled to know my private concerns, so I was not inclined to even prevaricate regarding my intentions towards you in her presence. Miss Elizabeth, I am more sorry than I can say about all of this, especially my role in it. Had I known that you had overheard andmisunderstood, I would not have hesitated to explain myself and reassure you.”
“That is good to know,” Elizabeth said, then looked down. “I . . . I was so hurt . . . and I felt so foolish for believing there was something between us—”
“You are not foolish,” Mr. Darcy said, taking her other hand as well. “There is something very real between us. Do not doubt it.”
She looked into his eyes as he looked into hers.
He caressed her hands as he held them. “If we had never encountered the Bingleys yesterday, I would have requested a private audience with you for the day after the musicale. On that Tuesday morning, I would have come to ask you for a courtship. What would you have said?”
“I would have said ‘yes’.”
Still holding her eyes captive with his own, he asked, “Would you have doubted there was something real between us?”
She shook her head. “No.”
He brought both of her hands to his lips, kissed them, and said, “Then please, do not doubt it now.”
Tears came to her eyes. “I care for you, too.”
