She smiled at him.
He continued. "It has been four days since I last saw you. I missed you."
"I missed you as well," she said, then lowered her eyes. "Fitzwilliam, I am so sorry you were pulled into the chaos that Lydia created."
"Think nothing of it. I wanted to help. In such a situation, it is best to have as many people looking as possible." He paused, studying her. "I am sure you are relieved that she will be unable to cause such trouble again."
"What do you mean?" Elizabeth asked.
"Forgive me, I thought your father had informed you." He walked to the door and looked both ways before coming back to sit beside her. Lowering his voice, he said, "I wanted to make sure Miss Lydia was not out there listening. Your father told me that he has purposely not informed her of what is to take place. Tomorrow, they will travel to Essex. There is a school for difficult girls there called the Bankhead School for Girls."
Fitzwilliam then described the security features the school had because of its design. Elizabeth was relieved that Lydia would be sent to a school that offered more security. From the way he described the grounds, it sounded like she would have plenty of space to roam or seek solitude if she needed it.
After they discussed the new school, they both became quiet.
Elizabeth could feel his eyes on her, but she just could not think of anything to say to make things less awkward, so she stood and suggested they go to the drawing room. When she and Fitzwilliam walked into the room, they found her aunt and sisters and Mr. Hadley, who had just arrived.
Elizabeth had been so eager for more people to help with conversation that she had forgotten that Lydia was also in the drawing room. But what could she do about it? She had hoped her aunt would require Lydia to remain upstairs when they had guests, but she supposed it was not to be. This was unfortunate since there was never any telling what Lydia might say or do. And even if she said or did nothing, her mere presence had to be a reminder to the gentlemen of the scandal she nearly brought down on all their heads!
When they went in to dinner, Aunt Madeleine had invited everyone to sit where they liked, but Lydia she had put next to herself with Jane on Lydia's other side, apparently by design. She and Aunt clearly had a plan to keep Lydia in line. Elizabeth was glad her aunt had thought ahead.
Elizabeth found she did not have much of an appetite, so she ate very little. She listened to the discussions around her, but she did not add much to them. She was grateful Fitzwilliam was mostly speaking with her uncle and father because she did not feel equal to making conversation. But she did watch him. Elizabeth watched every move he made, and she listened to him as he spoke. Oh, how she admired him! He was so handsome, so interesting, and intelligent! She remembered how blissful her courtship was before Lydia's actions intruded on their happiness. She had been so happy, so full of hope for the future. Now, she just felt ashamed. She felt like a fraud. She felt as if she no longer had the right to be in this courtship and receive his attentions. Elizabeth had presented herself as someone worthy—and she had been, even with her family's ridiculousness and lack of propriety. But now, there was more than ridiculousness attached to her family. Thanks to Lydia, there was the potential for scandal. Lady Catherine had insisted Elizabeth was not from a worthy family, and now her youngest sister had made the case for her! What must Fitzwilliam think? He was so good, steppingin to assist them when they needed it most, but what must he truly think of her now? Elizabeth remembered his words regarding the next mistress of Pemberley: it was important that she bring honor to the role and not reproach. Lydia's actions most definitely could bring reproach.
When the gentlemen joined them in the drawing room after dinner, Fitzwilliam came to sit beside her.
"How is Georgiana?" she asked.
"She is well. She sends her regards."
"I am afraid we have not gone to visit her in some time, occupied as we have been with other things," Elizabeth said.I hope he does not think I would force Lydia's company on his sister.
"She knows you all have had much to deal with," he said gently. "Do you feel things are beginning to settle down now?"
"Yes, I suppose they are."
"Is Miss Lydia being difficult?" he asked.
"Yes, she is. She carries on as if she is the victim here."Is he worried that Lydia will do something before she is sent away?
He leaned towards her and lowered his voice. "Well, she will now begin to receive consistent training, discipline, and education. Perhaps after months of such a regimen, you will see significant changes in her."
"I hope so. That would be a very welcome outcome," she said, looking down to her hands in her lap, avoiding his gaze.
Elizabeth was so uncertain of where she stood with him. Would Lydia's actions drive him away?
Chapter 30
As his carriage drove away from Gracechurch Street, Darcy thought back on the evening. From the moment he greeted Elizabeth, things were very awkward between them, nothing like the easy, comfortable interactions he was used to having with her. She had been extremely quiet, and he wondered what was at the root of it.
When he arrived home, he was still no closer to the answer. He changed out of his evening wear, then went back downstairs to his study. Almost as soon as he entered, Fitz also appeared.
"Hello, Darcy."
"Fitz."
"Brandon said you had just returned home," Fitz said, walking straight to the brandy decanter.
"Yes, I have not been here long at all," Darcy replied, eyeing his cousin with a raised brow. "How was your evening?"
