Holly
Cherrybomb:Let’s be clear. You don’t think Batman vs. Superman is a GOOD movie, do you? Because, no offense, Hot Rod, but that’s what they call a deal breaker.
Hot Rod:I’ve only seen the Cinema Sins video about it. Shit, you’re touchy.
Cherrybomb:Damn straight. A woman needs to have standards. What’s Cinema Sins?
Hot Rod:Oh, get ready to fall down a rabbit hole. They’re videos on YouTube about all of the dumbass things that happen in movies. It’s better than watching the actual movies.
Cherrybomb:I’m starting to get a better picture of you. You’re a jaded hater. What does it say about me that I’m kind of into that?
Hot Rod:Probably nothing good. Did you watch it?
Cherrybomb:Hold your horses, Hot Rod. It’s over twenty minutes long.
Twenty minutes later…
Hot Rod:Well?
Cherrybomb:Call me Alice because I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole, and I’m not coming out.
Hot Rod:Ha!
Hot Rod:I read that book with my REDACTED.
Cherrybomb:I guess Judith was worried you were sharing something that would help me identify you. Now I’m really curious what you were going to say. Do you have a pet iguana? An elderly thruple of grandparents?
Hot Rod:A child. Huh. She let me say that. Do you have kids?
Cherrybomb:I’m not exactly a kid person.
Hot Rod:That might be what I’d call a dealbreaker.
Cherrybomb:Man, you REALLY need to learn to hold your horses. I have no objection to anyone else having kids. It’s just not for me. Shitty childhood for the win. Besides, I think I might be allergic to babies. The older and surlier they get, the more I like them. (Don’t tell REDACTED. REDACTED. REDACTED.)
Cherrybomb:Goddamn, Judith is sensitive.
Hot Rod:Well, I’m trying my best not to give REDACTED a shitty childhood, but lately I’m feeling like a failure.
Cherrybomb:Feeling like a failure is a part of life, compadre. I mean, for all I know, you really are a shitty father, but you DID feed me my new YouTube addiction, so I’m going to roll out my sweet side. The fact that you’re worried about it suggests you at least care. That’s the most important part.
“He’s back, Holly,” Jane says, nodding toward the window. “Are you going to Mace him this time?”
“Maybe,” I say, because honestly, what the fuck? During our last lesson, the lurker could have conceivably been peering into the window to, I don’t know, check out me or Mikey or, hell, both of us, but his return suggests something sinister. “Mikey, do you have a stalker I don’t know about?”
“No,” he says, tugging on his ponytail. “I should be the one to go out there,” he adds without any great conviction behind it. “I mentioned what happened last time to Butterscotch, and she seemed to feel very strongly that I’d made a mistake by letting you confront him.”
“Who the fu-heck is Butterscotch? You got a horse I don’t know about?”
“She’s my match,” he says under his breath, giving me an intent look, like he’s worried about the kids thinking he’s using the dating app that we designed. What he should be concerned about is that they might presume he’s seeing some kind of stripper. I mean, Butterscotch?
Really, Holly?Your dude called himself Hot Rod.
Of course, he’s notmydude. The only things I know about him are his age—thirty-six—that he shares my predilection for poking fun at bad movies, and that he has a child. That alone makes me seriously question Judith’s wisdom, but I have to admit I’m sort of enjoying our exchange.
Rory took Bryn and me out for dinner yesterday, which was totally a suck-up gesture because I agreed to teach these classes, and she, of course, asked me about the app. I was relieved to be able to tell her that Hot Rod had stopped being quite so withholding. I mean, it would be embarrassing to be rejected by a stranger on the internet who hasn’t even seen your picture, although less embarrassing than being rejected by a stranger who has seen your picture, I suppose, but you catch my drift.
Bryn gave Rory an annoyingly optimistic look, like she thinks I’m going to run off and get engaged to a man who calls himself Hot Rod, then said, “I’m glad you’re really giving it a shot, Holl. He may surprise you.”
