Cole
Holly storms out of the room, and I take a few seconds to get myself under control. My heart is racing, and a sense of panic is burning at the edges of my brain. The panic is because of the Labelles and Deacon and the fact I haven’t figured out how to stop them.
Right?
It’s not because I let Holly walk out of my life.
Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? I shoved her out of my life.
It’s for the best. Especially if there’s a chance Millie really did hate her back in high school. It’s bad enough that I feel like I’m spitting on Millie’s grave by allowing Jane to spend time with her parents. She would absolutely hate that Jane has been seeing them. But to then start a relationship with someone she hated? It feels like one betrayal too many.
But she loves me.
Holly Mayberry said that she lovesme. That she always has.
While her confession fills me with a sense of amazement and hope, the knowledge that Millie couldn’t stand her forms a black hole in my chest, sucking all of those good feelings away.
I owe it to Millie to stay away from Holly…don’t I?
The thought makes me even more depressed than before.
After a few minutes, I pull myself together and head back out to the bar. I’m not surprised to see Jane shooting daggers at me. She doesn’t waste any time launching her attack.
“What did you do?” There’s a righteous anger in her eyes that reminds me so much of Millie it hurts.
I push out an exhausted sigh. “Jane, this is why I didn’t want you to know about me and Holly, and this is why I haven’t dated anyone. It’s too messy. I don’t want you to get too attached and then lose them.”
Her balled fists rest on the counter and her cheeks are flushed. “I was already attached before you ever started dating her, Dad. She’s my computer teacher. Besides, she already told me she’d be my friend no matter what.”
“Oh.” Holly said that to her? There’s a wrenching sensation in my chest as that black hole sucks in some more goodness.
“Why are you so stupid?” she demands, close to tears. “Holly is perfect for you!”
She’s right, which is why I let her get away with calling me stupid. Hollyisperfect for me. Except in the ways she isn’t. And those seem insurmountable right now.
“Dad!” she says when I don’t answer.
I run a hand over my head. “I don’t know what to tell you, J. Relationships are complicated.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it,” she says, shoving her glass away. “Why did you break up with her?”
I open my mouth to answer, but there’s nothing I can tell her. I refuse to let her know that I care about what the Labelles think, let alone that the mother she never really knew might have hated the woman she clearly idolizes. “That’s between me and Holly.”
A tear falls down her cheek. “You broke her heart, Dad.”
I only nod, because there’s no sense denying it and claiming Holly’s too tough to have her heart broken. I saw the tears swimming in her eyes. I saw the devastation on her face.
My heart feels like it’s broken too.
“I’m sorry, J.”
Irritation floods her face. “That’s not good enough, Dad.”
I suddenly feel like the tables have been turned on me and she’s the one in control. “It’s all I have.”
She starts to push off her stool, and I don’t want her to leave like this, angry and disappointed in me. I know it’s stupid—she’s the child and I’m the adult—but she’s my world, and I hate that I’ve hurt her. I want her to stay here until she’s less angry, which is the only reason I can come up with for blurting out, “Your grandmother called this afternoon.”
She stops in her tracks and looks at me with an inquisitive stare. “Oh?”
