Horacio:The good news is Deacon is going to see Cole. Like, he probably already went.
Me:And the bad news? Don’t hold out on me, Horacio.
Horacio:I had to tell them you were seeing Cole.
Me:Excuse me? Did Mama Labelle threaten to clock you with her cock statue? Why would you *have* to tell them that?
Horacio:I needed to rebuild rapport! How else could I get them to trust me? I had to act like I was bringing them information.
Me:There was a plan, dipwad.
Horacio:I panicked.
Me:You’re useless.
Horacio:You sound like my mother.
I tap my phone against my chin.Shit, shit, shit, this is not good. Something like this could scare Cole straight away from me. He’s nervous about Jane knowing about us, and now the Labelles know too. Well, actually, so does Jane, so from his perspective it’s bad news all around.
Only…Jane’s happy about it, and who gives a fuck what the Labelles think, right?
Now that we know why they’re after Jane, we just have to prove what they’re doing to get them to back off, right?
Piece of cake. Or it would be if our inside man weren’t such an idiot.
“Take that back,” Jane shouts, loudly enough that I drop my phone and probably crack it, but the phone’s the last thing on my mind. I spin around to see Jane yelling at Eloise, her cheeks pink. Eloise is cringing in her chair, and Mikey looks like he’s about to shit his pants.
“What’s the protocol for this?” he whisper-shouts. “Should I call the principal? Miss Applebaum?”
I’m pretty sure Miss Applebaum could give a fuck from how quickly she adioses every time she drops the kids off, and there’s no way I want to get the principal involved. Jane has had enough dealings with her this year.
No. This is a job for Holly Mayberry.
Holly Mayberry who never wanted children but is finding it surprisingly enjoyable to spend time with someone else’s child. (Yeah, still don’t try handing me any infants. I don’t want to hold them.)
I stride forward, all confidence, and stand between them. “What happened?”
“Eloise said you were a bad teacher, and the only reason you’re here is because your sister is marrying Rory Byrne.”
I shoot Eloise an almost impressed glance. I honestly didn’t think she had it in her. She has the grace to look embarrassed.
“It’s okay, Eloise,” I say. “You’re right. I am a shitty teacher.” Oops. “And Rory Byrne is my future brother-in-law. But if I can teach you one thing it’s that if you’re going to say stuff like that about people, you should make sure you’re doing it both behind their backs and the backs of their friends. Got it?”
“You’re friends with an eight-year-old?” Eloise says as if this only firms up her opinion of me.
“Absolutely,” I say, reaching around to give Jane a fist bump. “Which is another reason to be careful with what you say. You never know when you’ll put your foot in it.”
“She still shouldn’t have yelled at me,” Eloise says, popping her lower lip out.
“Agreed,” I say with a nod at Jane. “What needs to happen here is that you should apologize to me, Eloise, and Jane should apologize to you. That’ll settle things.”
“But youarea bad teacher,” Eloise says. “You admitted it.”
“No, she’s not,” Ollie says, surprising me. Now I feel a little guilty about continually forgetting it’s not a class of all girls. “She’s an awesome teacher. She brought in a spin chart.”
“And she’s letting us make games,” another of the girls says.
“I wish she could be our teacher forever,” someone else says.
