Lanie:
He’s allowed to have a life. He may be our dad, but he’s not dead.
Lizzy:
Oh, Dad is far from dead, trust me. He was having the time of his life.
Raven:
Wait… are you saying you walked in on Dad having sex?!?!?!
Lizzy:
If he wasn’t, he was about to…
Lanie:
OMG… that’s hilarious!
Raven:
About as hilarious as him walking in on Finn and me a few weeks ago. Serves him right.
Sloane:
That’s what you get for trying to have a quickie in the garage when your kids are watching TV upstairs. (eye roll emoji)
Raven:
Hey now… my husband’s hot, and there’s only so much time in the day.
Lizzy:
How do you think I ended up with three kids?
Sloane:
Twins are the reason my tubes are tied, and I get all the hot sex I want!
Lanie:
I get it… y’all think your husbands are hot—as you should. Ryan’s most certainly at the top of my list… But we were talking about DAD!!!! Focus, people…
Sloane:
Are you sure that’s what you heard? I’ve never seen or heard of Dad dating ANYONE!
Lizzy:
I’m still washing my ears out with bleach. I have a very active sex life… I know what it sounds like!
Raven:
You don’t have to date to have sex. Before Finn, that was always my MO. Maybe Dad’s taking a page out of my old book?
Lanie:
I know he’s our dad, but I’m certain he hasn’t been a monk all these years. Gah… do you remember how all our friends used to think he was so hot?