“It’s too bad we can’t let them know it’s you.”
“Next time.” Mark nods in agreement, then points to the houses below. “Sloane and Jax live right next door on the right, and on this next block…” He points to a different location. “Raven and Finn live in that two-story house at the corner.”
“Wow, your kids really do live close. Your mom would’ve loved that.” His girls were Jane’s pride and joy. It was evident every time I visited. Sighing heavily, I admit a truth I haven’t said aloud in ages. “If I’d had kids of my own, I could only hope they’d be as close as your family is.”
“I’m pretty lucky.” Mark nods, then reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze, as if he knows I need it. “Everything okay, Faye?”
“Yeah,” I exhale slowly. “I’m good.”
“Then what is it?” he presses, clearly sensing something is off.
I snort out a laugh at how unexpectedly things hit me at times. “It’s funny, I spent my teens and early twenties taking every precaution and avoiding kids at all costs. I focused on school and always put my career first. Corey never wanted kids, and honestly, with him, I didn’t either. We weren’t a good fit. I’d never been more relieved than when I had my hysterectomy because I’d spent years bleeding way heavier than any human ever should. But seeing the joy your family brings you, I can’t help but wonder, what if… You know?”
He squeezes my hand tighter. “I can’t imagine what you might be feeling, but I can empathize. What-ifs are brutal.”
“I do my best to live life without regrets,” I assure him. “There’s no point otherwise. I know with every fiber of my being that it truly was never the right time for me to have a family of my own. I wasn’t in the right place or with the right person, for that matter.”
For a few moments, a comfortable silence settles between us.
Eventually, Mark clears his throat and says, “Can I tell you something I haven’t told many others? Did you know Sarah and I got pregnant with Lanie just six weeks after meeting? Then we had four kids in three years, all while I was deployed twice during that time. I wouldn’t trade my girls for anything, but I also wasn’t the husband or father they always needed me to be. I had a phenomenal career in the Air Force, but that meant I had commitments where I couldn’t always put my family first.”
“I’m sure they understood,” I assure him.
“It’s why I work so hard to be as involved as I can now that I’m retired. I missed so many things while I was stationed around the world or deployed.”
“What you did was admirable, Mark.”
“But at what cost?” he ponders.
I assume it’s a rhetorical question, as only he knows the answer.
Sighing heavily, he adds, “All we can do is the best we can, with the cards we’re dealt. We can spend our entire lives on the could’ve, would’ve, or should’ves, but that won’t do anything but make us miserable.”
Taking in what he’s saying, I sigh heavily. “I suppose you’re right.”
“Of course, I am. I’m always right.” He grins and exaggeratedly puffs out his chest in pride. Then he pulls his hand from mine and puts it back on the steering mechanism to turn the aircraft around.
I’m lost in thought as we return to the airport. Within minutes, we’ve touched down, and he’s doing his post-flight procedures. Or at least that’s what I think it’s called.
Once we’ve disembarked the plane and are back in Mark’s truck, he throws me for another loop when he calls out my name. “Hey, Faye?”
“Yes, Mark? I repeat deliberately, matching his tone of voice.
“It’s only seven-thirty. I’m nowhere near ready for our time together to end. Mind if we head to my place and watch that movie we never got to see? If you sleep over, I promise to wake you in time for your meeting in the morning.”
“I think I could be persuaded, Lancaster.”
Then I throw down a challenge of my own. “But… What do you say to skipping the movie and going straight to bed? Ever since you showed up and went down on me, I’ve been dying to get my hands and mouth around that cock of yours and have my way with you.”
“That, sweetheart, is something I can certainly get on board with.”
Lizzy:
Uh… Dad is NOT hanging out with Mrs. Rimer.
Lanie:
????
