I staggered and flailed around behind me for somewhere to sit, finding myself seated with very little dignity just where he had originally intended.
“You what? You spoke to him before you spoke to me?” I cried.
“I did.”
He crouched down before me and looked earnestly upward into my face, and I reached blindly to cover his mouth to stop him from speaking.
“No, tell me you have not!”
He kissed my palm and gently removed my hand. “Tell me you do not dislike the idea.”
“Oh, I do not! You know it already! But—does my mother know?”
“I believe so. She was calling for her salts and being half-carried up the stairs by—"
“Good God! What have you done?”
“Mr. Bennet did not refuse me, you know. He gave you away in under five minutes.”
“How can you joke at such a moment? Do you not see? You are well and truly caught!” I cried. My hands flew upward like agitated birds and landed on my heated cheeks. “If Mama knows it, you are now committed. She will not let you out of this without suing for a breach of promise!”
He captured my hands and brought them back down toward to earth to rest in the solidity of his grip. “Why do you think I did so, Elizabeth? You are even now thinking of ways to avoid it!”
“Only t-to spare you,” I said on a dry sob. “Did you not get a sufficient dose of Longbourn in the past hour to cure you of your regard for me? You and I may suit, but our worlds spin in altogether different orbits!”
He reached up to caress my cheek. “I might have known your first concern would be for me. Do you not remember that we are already running with the stars? What do we care for mere worlds? Now cease your wails, my love, and tell me I may take you home.”
I was dreaming, deep in a nightmare of the most joyful kind that would be ripped from me upon the moment of waking. I could not speak and could no longer force my eyes to focus.
“My word, you are not going to faint, are you?” he asked, grasping my arms to steady me.
“I may,” I said weakly. “And it would serve you right. I do not understand anything at all.”
“Consider that your family is, at this moment, gathered at the window and partaking of this scene, love. You have had me on my knees for some time now, and your youngest sister has probably called gleefully up to your mama that you are giving me a hard go of it. And she, poor lady, is likely staggering down the stairs to see for herself and threatening to have you sent to the road to take your chances with a peddler if you do not—”
“A tinker.”
“What? Oh, as you will. I wish you joy of him, my darling,” he said with a grin. “But why are you crying?”
“I love you so,” I said through sheets of tears. “I am almost in pain. How many times have you knelt before me while I have wept? It is so mortifying, Mr. Darcy.”
“Those moments have been the best of my life, Elizabeth. Do you not see how important you are to me? You have taught me everything worth knowing.”
“I?”
“Yes, and I shall tell you all about it, but think, love, of your poor mama. Let me kiss you, so she may fall back onto her couch and recuperate.”
He did not wait for me to reply and took matters into his own hands, which was just as well. I had fallen into a state of profound stupidity by this time. He kissed me while I was seated and without ever withdrawing his lips, pulled me to standing and kissed me rather too thoroughly, I thought, and in such a public fashion that my knees trembled under the weight of such unseemly passion.
“I believe I may faint in earnest, sir,” I mumbled.
“Rest your head on my heart, then, and hear its steadiness. I live for you, you know.”
His words were tender and beautiful, but he was also suppressing a laugh, so well entertained was he by my befuddled state and, perhaps more so, the degree to which he had shocked me with his kiss.
“You know, just as soon as I come to my senses, I shall be enraged at how you have paid your addresses to me,” I mumbled stiffly into his waistcoat.
He ran his fingers through the curls that hung down my back and said, “I do know it, and I can hardly wait to hear your strictures on the manner in which I have secured you.”
