She turned on her side to face me. “What is wrong, Lizzy? You have changed.”
“Ah,” I said, turning on my back and staring at the ceiling.
“It is not abadchange,” she quickly clarified lest I take her observation as a criticism.
“I do not deny it.” I turned back on my side in order to face her, both hands folded under my cheek. “I have fallen in love, and I do not know whether I should laugh or cry. There are times when I must blink back tears of adoration at the sight of a green bud on the chestnut, or I must force myselfnotto dance with the willow branches that wave at me when I pass by the creek. Well, it is impossible to explain.”
Jane turned toward me with wide, questioning eyes. “But who is he?”
The tears that seemed ever present since I returned home from Pemberley spilled over on my pillow. “The best of men, Jane. But our circumstances are not promising. He is of a different world than I.”
“Oh, Lizzy!” she whispered mournfully.
“Hush. I am content. I have said my goodbyes to him. Think of it as though your sister has fallen prey to a handsome tinker, and smile indulgently at me when I look to be swooning under a spell he has cast from afar.”
“Can you not tell me?”
“I shall of course, but not today. I cannot bear to say his name aloud just yet. It is still too precious to me. Do you understand?”
“More than you might think,” she whispered.
Thus, we sat at the table on yet another morning, well occupied with our mother and still thinking of tinkers, when Kitty called from the parlor.
“Mama! There is a carriage in the drive—lord, two carriages! And all with four horses a piece!”
We nearly threw back our chairs onto the floor, so quickly did we stand. There I stood, rooted to the floor with my chest heaving and my eyes closed almost desperately while my sisters and my mother gathered in a knot of babbling excitement at the window in the next room.
I had not long to wait to hear what I already knew.
“Mr. Darcy!” cried Lydia. “My word, Mama, what ishedoing here?”
“Lizzy!” my mother roared, “Mr. Darcy is here. Come and see! But why—and who is that? A lady? Has he married?”
“That is his sister,” I said as I went into the parlor, speaking more forcefully than I wished so I could be heard. “I met her in Derbyshire and formed a friendship. Did I not mention it? I am certain she is paying a courtesy call on her way to London. Come, shall we meet them on the steps?”
Chapter Forty-Two
The day was dry, but the sun was hidden under a thick blanket of clouds, yet I stepped out to the dazzling sight of Mr. Darcy come to Longbourn.
I blinked against my will, and then by some instinct to move, or perhaps by the force of inclination, I ran to Georgiana. We fell upon one another as though long-lost sisters, which must have shocked our audience, but I did not care.
Laughing, I brushed away her tears and said, “Silly, you have come, and I told you not to!”
“You are not angry?”
“How could I be? But you, sir,” I said, turning to her brother and speaking in a low voice, “what is your excuse for arriving in state without a word of warning? My mother will have a spasm at any moment, I assure you.”
He took my hand to his lips and then reached into the coach and brought out Queenie, saying as he did so, “Did I not tell you my motto is to act first and beg forgiveness later? Perhaps this bit of baggage will encourage you to show mercy.”
“Oh, you wicked man!” I cried in a tight whisper, wiping tears from my eyes before they could fall. “What have you done? I do not wish to weep while all the world is watching. What a spectacle we are making!”
“This is not our first spectacle, I think,” he whispered back, placing the pup into my arms as a means to stand very close to me. A shudder of scandalous pleasure rose up my spine when he then murmured for my ears alone, “And I hope it is not our last.”
“Lizzy, what are you saying?” called my mother. “Bring Mr. Darcy here, child. Even your father has come out!”
The wave of events was instantly out of my grasp then, and I could not help but be swept along as though by an invisible broom. We went through the ritual of greeting, brought forward Mrs. Annesley, and were pushed inside by a cold breeze. I was dazed out of my wits, and I heard, as though from afar, Mr. Darcy speaking to my father.
“Perhaps you would rather we leave the dog with the grooms, sir?”
