Maddie cleared her throat. “Well, um, I just thought it was time we talked.”
There was a pause, the silence between them stretching before Becca spoke again, her voice softer this time. “It’s okay. I’ve been busy, as usual. You know how it is. So many last-minute Christmas things to do. Plus, I figured you were going through a lot and probably needed space.”
Maddie’s lips twisted into a sad smile.Spacewas an understatement. She’d spent the last year putting as much distance as she could between herself and the rest of the world, burying herself in her grief and pushing away anyone who tried to reach out. Including Becca.
“I thought I did, but I’m not sure it was really the best way to handle things. Anyway, I’m sorry for being so distant,” Maddie said, her voice breaking a little. “I guess I just didn’t know how to talk to you about everything that was going on.”
“About…Jack?” Becca’s voice was tentative, like she was afraid of saying the wrong thing.
“Yes. About Jack.” Maddie exhaled a shaky breath. “I didn’t want to burden you with all of that. I know your life is busy and full, and I just didn’t think you’d understand. To be honest, I didn’t think youcould.”
There was a long silence on the other end of the line, and Maddie could almost hear Becca processing what she had said. Finally, Becca spoke, her voice low and uncertain.
“Maddie, I— Why would you think I wouldn’t understand? That I couldn’t?”
Maddie hesitated, trying to best untangle her thoughts and put them into words. “Because your life is perfect, Becca. You have everything figured out. You have Trip, the boys, your charity work. You’ve always had it all together. And I don’t. In fact, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to. Not since Jack died.”
“Maddie—”
But Maddie’s emotions rose in her chest, the weight of all the words she had been holding back for so long pressing down on her. She had more to say. More to confess. “I haven’t moved on. I don’t know how. It’s like I’m stuck in this place where everything reminds me of him, but he’s not here. And every time I think I’m starting to get better, something pulls me right back down. A scent, a snippet of memory, a song on the radio. It could be anything. And I know you’re trying to help, but you don’t get it, Becca. You can’t, because you’ve never had to go through this.”
Her voice cracked on the last word, the grief spilling out in a way it hadn’t before. A tear slipped down her cheek. She had never said it out loud like this, never let herself admit how truly broken she felt. And as soon as the words were out, she felt both exposed and strangely relieved.
“Maddie...” Becca’s voice was barely a whisper. There was another long pause before she continued, her words slow and deliberate. “I’m so sorry. I honestly didn’t realize. I just thought you needed time.”
Maddie closed her eyes, tears stinging at the edges. “Time isn’t enough. I can’t just move on like nothing happened. Jack was my life. He was everything to me. And now he’s gone, and I don’t know how to live without him. I’m trying but it’s really hard.”
Becca’s voice softened even more. “Oh, Maddie. I’m so sorry. I know I haven’t lost someone like Jack, but if it helps, my life isn’t as perfect as you think.”
Maddie blinked, taken aback by the admission. “What do you mean?”
Becca let out a shaky breath, and Maddie could hear her shifting on the other end of the line, like she was finally letting her guard down. “I mean it’s not what it looks like. Trip and I—We’ve been having problems for a while now. He’s so busy with work, and when he’s home, it’s like he’s not reallyhere. And I’m always trying to keep everything together for him and especially the boys, when they’re around, but I feel like I’m losing myself in the process. Half the time, I don’t even know who I am anymore outside of being Trip’s wife and Ben and Tim’s mother.”
Maddie’s heart sank. She had always envied Becca’s life, seeing it as the pinnacle of success and stability. But now, hearing her sister’s voice laced with vulnerability, Maddie realized she had been wrong. Becca’s life wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t easy. And she had been struggling in her own way, just as Maddie had been.
“I didn’t know,” Maddie whispered, her throat tight with emotion.
“How could you?” Becca replied, her voice trembling. “I’ve never really talked about it with anyone. It’s like I’ve been pretending everything’s fine because that’s what I’m supposed to do. And if I pretend long enough, maybe itwillbe fine. But the truth is, I know that’s not true, and I’m scared. Scared that one day, Trip’s going to wake up and realize I’m not enough. That our marriage isn’t enough. I feel like I’m always running, trying to keep everything perfect, but it’s exhausting, Maddie. It’s so utterly exhausting.”
Maddie leaned back in her chair, feeling the weight of her sister’s words settle over her. It was like they had both been living in these parallel worlds of heartache and struggle, each too afraid to let the other in. But now, with their walls crumbling,they were finally seeing each other clearly for the first time in years.
Schatzi was right about it being the season for such things.
“I’m really sorry, Becca,” Maddie said quietly. “I should have been there for you. I didn’t realize you were going through all of that.”
“There’s no way you could have known. And I should have been there for you,” Becca said, her voice thick with emotion. “I should have tried harder to understand what you were going through with Jack. I just didn’t know how to help, but that’s no excuse. You’re my sister. I need to do better.”
“So do I for you.” Maddie nodded, even though her sister couldn’t see it. She sniffed. “I don’t think either of us knew what to do. But maybe we can figure it out together. I miss you, Becca.”
“I miss you too, Mads,” Becca whispered, using the nickname from their childhood. Maddie could hear the tears in her voice. “More than you know.”
For a few moments, neither of them spoke, the silence filled only with the sound of their quiet breaths. It was a silence that didn’t feel awkward or heavy, but full of understanding—a shared acknowledgment of the burdens they had been carrying alone for too long.
Maddie broke the silence first, her voice soft but full of resolve. “Maybe we can start over. Or start fresh. I’m up here with Aunt Schatzi for a little while, just trying to clear my head. But there’s no reason we can’t talk while I’m here. Really talk. About everything. I know Christmas is a busy time for you, so you just let me know when it works for you, and I’ll make sure to be available.”
“I’d like that,” Becca said, her voice full of relief. “I’d really like that. I’ll look at my schedule and text you.”
“Good.” Maddie smiled, feeling something shift inside her. The grief was still there—it always would be—but having her sister back in her life went a long way toward making her not feel so alone. She had lost Jack, yes. But she still had her sister. And that, she realized, was something worth holding on to.
