"Is this okay? I know we've done this before, but I need you to tell me you want this."
She pulls back just far enough for me to look into her eyes. What I see there settles any of the nervousness that's seeped into my chest. "I want this, want you. There's been so little happiness since all this started, and when I'm with you, I'm happy."
I am too, but I can't tell her that. Not yet. It's crazy, but I'm terrified that if I say the words out loud, then it'll go away. "If anything I do isn't what you want, you've gotta let me know."
"I want it all."
Her hands go to my ass, and she holds on tightly as I reach down and grab the base of my cock. With a groan, I feed it into her body, relaxing as she takes the entire length. "Your body was made for mine, Beth." While I like treating the woman I’m with, with respect, I'm not the kind of man who says shit like this when I'm balls deep inside a woman. But there's something about Beth that gets all my protective instincts going.
She tips her head back, and I let my lips find her neck, sucking at the skin there. "Strange to think that if it hadn't been for Eruption, we wouldn't be here together right now."
I'd like to argue with her about that, tell her that whatever is meant to be would be, but she's right. If we were still in Bishop's Landing, I wouldn't be looking at her like this. I was so settled in the life I was living that I wasn't looking at anyone to be a partner to me. After everything that had gone on with Maple, I was content being alone. Now? I realize how dark that life was.
Would I be with anyone? Probably not. Which is why when I feel her pussy start constricting around the head of my cock, I close my eyes and let all my guards down. I haven't done that in years, and the fact that I'm doing it right now, with her, says more about how my soul feels than anything else. As I groan loudly, she screams breathless, and I barely pull my cock from her body in time. Looking down in between us my gaze gets hot as I see my body spill onto hers.
"Knox..." she trails off, her breaths coming fast and shallow. "Are we crazy?"
I close my eyes, and lean my forehead against hers. "No crazier than the life we've been living since Eruption. If we can't have some joy then why go on living?"
Her nails run up and down my back, and I dig my fingers into her hair, holding her tightly. This embrace is everything I need, but nothing I've been able to admit to anyone, much less myself.
"Then what’s bothering you?" She whispers.
My throat constricts. "It's been lonely." I can't filter out the hoarseness as I say the words. "By myself, although I thought there was no other way for me to survive. You being here has just proven to me how lonely I was."
She tucks her head under my chin and hugs me. "I feel the same way."
"And I'm struggling," I continue. "Because I know it's only been a few days, and I told you we're just trying to get to Nashville."
She interrupts. "But now you’re worried about if I’m thinking about what a life with you might be like?"
"Exactly."
But instead of talking it out, we just stand there holding each other for a really long time. When the sun starts to go down, we wash our hair with the little bit of shampoo we have, and our bodies with the body wash we found at one of the houses. Together we huddle in the cave, and eat the warm mealI swore I’d make her, right beside the fire. We sleep cuddled up, and when I wake up before the sun rises the next morning, I'm more nervous than I've been since all of this started.
This could either be the beginning for us, or the beginning of the end.
And right now, I know I want the beginning. But I'm terrified for the end.
CHAPTER 12
BETH
Yesterday afternoon was one of the best days I've had in my life either before or after Eruption. We were doing well and then it was like he cut himself off from me. I can understand it partly. Neither one of us wants to feel too close to the other. We have no idea what the future holds, and both of us have been hurt. Last night, when he thought I was asleep, he held me like I was the most important thing in the world to him. He told me he was lonely. He let his walls down yesterday when he'd admitted that. Now? Now he's rebuilding every wall I saw come down when he was baring his thoughts to me. I understand it. I do. But understanding something doesn't make it hurt any less.
Knox is quiet this morning as we get ready. He hasn't said more than a handful of words since he woke me up with a quiet nudge and told me we needed to get moving. I watch him from the corner of my eye as he rolls up the sleeping bags. He's on autopilot, his jaw set, his eyes looking anywhere, but at me. When he’s finished the cave looks like we were never here, and somehow that bothers me more than it probably should. Like he's erasing us as quickly as we happened. I pull my still-damp hair back and tell myself not to read into it. People likeKnox don't shut down because they don't care. They shut down because they care too much and it scares them, and I know that because I've spent the better part of this morning doing the exact same thing.
"How long do you think it'll take us to get to Nashville?" That seems the safest question to ask. Put us back on the path of our destination instead of the journey.
"Half a day if we don't stop. I don't really want to. I'd like to get there and see what we're dealing with."
"Sounds good to me. I have to use the restroom, and then we can get going."
He nods, his jaw set. "There's a good place over to the right. I'll be here if you need me, be careful."
Giving him a wave, I head off in the direction he pointed out. I'm reaching up and rubbing my earlobe. Lost in my thoughts, I walk away from where we made camp. Then I stop and drop my pants, taking care of business. When I stand, I realize I can no longer hear the water. "Shit," I grit out. "How far away did I walk?"
I'm trying not to panic, when I hear a tree branch break behind me. "Knox, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to walk so far away."
