"I'm sorry that you didn't get what you wanted today," Knox says as we snuggle together in a sleeping bag.
He's got his arms wrapped tightly around me, and I hate to admit that I've never felt so safe in my entire life. Not before Eruption, and sure as hell not after. "It's okay, if there's anything I've learned, it's that we can only count on what we can count on. It was a good idea, that wasn't meant to be."
"Doesn't mean we can't still want it. I think that's where we're most dangerous." His deep voice moves the hair at my ear.
"What do you mean?"
"If we get to the point where we don't want better than what we have. If we don't have hope, Beth, then we're fucked." He tucks his chin into my shoulder. "I've let a lot of things go since Eruption happened, and the aftermath. A lot of what I hoped for my future, I gave up on. I've been aimlessly wandering around for the past few years, trying to look for a place that might be mine."
I run my fingertips over the back of his hand, making little hearts with my nails. "I've been looking for a place that's mine too. Once or twice I thought I may have found a community where I could make a spot for myself, but it never worked out."
"Why not?"
Having this type of conversation with Knox is foreign to me now. I haven't had the privilege of talking about my wants since this all happened. I'm not even sure I've been able to take afew minutes and daydream. It was like as soon as that volcano erupted, a switch flipped and either you were a survivor, or you were collateral damage. "Because there was always something about the place, whether it be the vibes, or my gut telling me not to stay. I was waiting for something."
"Maybe you were waiting for me." He drops a kiss on my shoulder.
"Maybe I was."
And right now, I can admit, at least to myself, I trust this man. More than I probably should. But when I close my eyes? My future is with him.
CHAPTER 10
BETH
The next day I wake up with a better outlook. Maybe it’s the thought of hot food and soaking my body from head to toe. I'm not sure, but I get the feeling we're very close to Tennessee too. We eat a quick breakfast of jerky and some tuna, before we take care of our business and hit the road.
It's slow-going, even though we have a vehicle. Neither one of us wants to use unnecessary gas, and going too fast will do that. We pull off of the grass-covered road we're on, and I can tell that we're back on what once was the interstate.
"Look for signs," I tell him. "The way it opens up, up there." I point in front of us. "Makes me wonder if we aren't at some sort of interstate exchange."
He accelerates slightly, and that's when I see it in the distance. A weathered green sign reads Nashville, thirty-five miles, in lettering that’s starting to fade.
"Holy shit, we're close." He grips the steering wheel tighter. We'll be there tomorrow if all goes good. We were a lot closer than we thought."
Although I'm excited, there's a part of me that's scared too. What happens if we get there, and we realize we want different things? Even though we've only been together a few days, I'vecome to count on him. Maybe that's a sign of the times we're in. People build relationships more quickly because we know how fast they can end. "We will. Now just if we're able to find people."
"It'll be near the river," he says with all the confidence in the world. "There will be no other place for them to be. So we should see them almost as soon as we hit what was the city limits."
"What if this is our last night together?" I question as we pass a dented blue sign that welcomes us to Tennessee.
He swallows so hard I can see his Adam's apple move. "Then we make this one count. But Beth..."
"Yeah?" I whisper, worried that what he’s going to say next is going to be the end of all of this.
"I don't plan on letting you go unless you want me to. I've come to like having you sit in that passenger seat. Just knowing you're there makes things easier."
"I feel the same way."
A little while later, Knox pulls over on the side of the road, and pulls out one of the maps. With his finger, he traces what I imagine was our route down here.
"What are you looking for?"
He wraps his arm around my neck. "I believe I promised you water, fire, and a warm meal. Did I not? I’m scoping out the nearest pond or lake, so we can scrub up. It might not be the Hilton, but I don’t want to stink on our first date.”
I giggle. “Date?”
“Well yeah, we’re going to eat and wash up. After Eruption that’s almost like a fuckin’ marriage proposal.’
