gone too soon, forever in our hearts
There are some dates underneath and Lottie does a quick mental calculation.
‘He was only eighteen,’ she says to herself sadly and traces a finger over the words like she is reading braille.
Tim continues to prattle, pointing out the names of different flora and fauna to Josh, who has decimated his second breadstick and has the remains of it smeared all over his face. Lottie inclines her head further and sees for the first time that there is a fresh bouquet of flowers newly tied to the other end of the bench beside Tim. Turning back to the plaque, she reads the dates again and realises with a shiver of comprehension that this must be a memorial to the local lad who committed suicide and today is the one year anniversary of his death.
She looks out towards the sea and imagines the dark water, a night sky, perhaps filled with the noise and distraction of fireworks, like it will be tonight. And a boy, unseen, leaping from the cliff side and falling down onto the rocks below. A sob catches in her throat at the quiet terror of it. She reaches for her son, catches one of his pudgy hands in hers, bends and touches her lips to his sticky cheek, seeking consolation in his familiar smell as though she might keep him safe beside her forever.
32
Tobias takes his phone out of his pocket and calls Olivia’s number.
‘Hello,’ she answers. ‘Finished already?’
‘Where are you?’ he demands.
‘I’m still at the hotel. I’ve been enjoying a nice tepid bath if you must know.’
‘What, another one?’
‘Yes, I felt so hot and sweaty after my walk this morning. Can’t seem to cool down.’
‘Who are you with?’ he asks accusingly.
Olivia gives a surprised laugh which echoes down the phone.
‘Well, no one was in the bath with me. I tend to take those things alone.’
He grunts in response.
‘What on earth’s got into you?’ she asks. ‘You know, you really must learn to calm down, Tobias. Think of your blood pressure. You’ve been getting far too het up lately. This renovation, it’s not good for your health. Perhaps you should just leave it to Bill and his men from now on. Let me and Marcus manage the interior design side of things.’
‘Oh yes, you’d like that wouldn’t you?’ he barks into the phone, pacing up and down inside the house, his words becoming drowned out by the usual buzz and grind of background noise. ‘And what else have you been managing behind my back while I’ve been busy getting this house built for you?’
She chuckles again but she sounds less sure of herself and Tobias can detect a note of reticence in her voice.
‘Darling, you’ve hardly been building it yourself.’
‘Yes, well I’m the one paying for it. The one doing the number crunching. Staring at spreadsheets until I go bloody cross-eyed, trying to keep everything on schedule and to budget. Keeping the whole bloody train on the tracks as per bloody usual.’
‘Tobias. I won’t say this again. Calm down and stop shouting at me or I will hang up.’
‘When were you going to tell me, Livvy?’
‘Tell you what?’ she says, her breathy voice wavering even more than usual.
He knows he’s got her rattled now and he enjoys this sensation of power for a moment before ploughing on.
‘About this half-baked plan to rent some silly little shop down here. I had some hoary old curmudgeon — according to the men, he’s known as ‘Old Ted’ — collar me here at the property, demanding rent, cash up front. I must have looked a right bloody fool in front of everyone. I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about.’
There is a long pause at the end of the phone and he can hear his wife let out a long-held breath which he interprets as regret.
‘Oh, that,’ she says finally.
‘Yes, that.’
‘I was going to tell you eventually. I just wanted to do it by myself, get everything finalised. I’m using my own money, before you say anything,’ she adds. ‘My nest egg from Mummy and Daddy.’
