"Have you looked at rental properties yet?"
"Lots of places," I sighed. Ever since I'd gotten off work the day before, I'd been sitting in my car, scrolling through listings. Renting was freaking expensive. And not only that, most of the contracts didn’t start until the first of the month. That was still a week away. "It's been pretty difficult finding anything I can move into tomorrow."
Emily's voice was still thick with concern. “Do you have money to stay in a hotel? I worry about you, Hope. You're not exactly the type to camp out.”
“I’ll have you know I've been doing just fine camping out,” I huffed, adjusting my position for the millionth time in an attempt to get the feeling back into my left butt cheek. “I really don’t want to waste money on a hotel. I desperately need to start saving again. If I stay somewhere for a whole week, I'll blow everything I’ve earned so far.”
“Earned?” Emily asked, picking up on the word all too quickly.
“So, I also started working for Jay,” I added hesitantly.
“Oh my gosh. You actually took him up on the offer!” she was back to yelling again.
“Yeah, I figured I didn’t have much of a choice.”
“Okay, wow, so a bunch of stuff has happened since we last talked. What else?”
A brief silence spread over the line, and Dr. Jay came tomind as I looked out at the dark lake glimmering through the trees outside my car windows. If I could see just a little farther beyond the peaks of the dark pines, I'd catch sight of Jay’s cabin.
“Dr. Jay offered to rent me his apartment above his garage.”
I heard a choking sound on the other end of the line.
“Wait—what? He has a rental? How much is he asking for a month?”
“I don't know. I didn't ask. I turned him down so quickly he didn't have time to give me details.” I paused. “But he did say he could give me a discount.”
“Hope, why wouldn't you take him up on the offer?”
“He's my boss and my neighbor now! It would be so weird.”
“Hope, you'd be his tenant. It's not like you'd be sleeping in his bed. You'd have your own place.”
My face suddenly got hot, and surely my cheeks had turned pink. For some reason, the mention of Jay’s bedroom and the thought of sleeping in his bed had me all sorts of flustered. Why couldn't Emily have used a different example?
"Still—" I said, reaching out to fiddle with the seatbelt that was right next to my face. "He's a dentist, and I can't get past it."
"Hope, this fear you have…"
I cut her off. "I’m not afraid of him."
"Then what?" Emily fired back.
"I’m—" I didn’t know how to put it into words. "—afraid of what he could be."
The line went silent again, and I could tell that Emily was contemplating my confession.
"There is only one way to stop fearing what he could be," Emily said quietly through the line.
I didn’t respond. I felt like a stubborn child and even pouted a little like one.
"You have to give him a chance. That’s the only way you’ll ever know if he’s like the rest of them."
I closed my eyes, and for some reason, tears pricked the corners of my eyes. I always got hurt when I let myself have expectations. I was tired, and I honestly didn’t know if I could keep getting hurt.
"Think about it," Emily said. "It would save you a few sleepless nights in the car."
I was really missing a bed at that moment. I sighed and turned onto my other side and subsequently knocked my knee on the center console.
