JAY: And what’s that?
HOPE: I need to know what Amaplida means.
JAY: You need to?
HOPE: Yes, it's been driving me crazy.
I’d tried to spell it out a few times on Google Translate, but I must’ve been spelling it wrong because nothing was coming up.
JAY: It's Amapolita. And it means Little Poppy.
HOPE:Why Little Poppy?
JAY: The poppy seed muffins. The drug test jokes.
HOPE: So I'm nicknamed after a muffin?
JAY: Well, I couldn't very well call you muffin. That’s Bollo. And to me, Amapolita sounds better. Also, you're small, but stubborn, and a little addictive.
HOPE: Addictive?
Three little dots appeared on the screen. There was a whole minute of those dots appearing and disappearing before Jay finally responded.
JAY: It's late, Hope. Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.
CHAPTER 14
Ilooked at myself in the mirror the next morning and blew out a heavy sigh. I’d brushed my hazelnut hair into a ponytail and couldn't help but scrutinize my exposed forehead. I hated the slicked-back look. For so much of my life, I’d been forced to have my hair up, but I couldn’t wear it down. There was nothing more annoying than stray hairs getting into my eyes while I was working.
Leaving the bathroom and accepting my hairstyle, I headed into the living room to grab my purse. I slung my bag with my sparse lunch inside onto my shoulder, then checked the time: 7:15. My shift started at 8:00.
The dread started as a small weight in my chest, then gradually grew heavier. The closer I got to the idea of walking into a dental office again, the more panicked I felt.
My mind began replaying images from my time at Sunshine Dentistry, and the more memories that resurfaced, the stronger my anxiety became.
The attack was swift and sneaky. It was an ambush and I was completely unarmed. My face started going numb,along with my tongue and the bridge of my nose. My pulse began racing so fast I could hear the thumping of my heart in my ears.
I felt hot all over and hurried to take off my scrub top, leaving me in just my sports bra. I needed to calm down. Now. I threw my bag back onto the couch, sat down on the floor, put my head between my knees, and struggled to regain my normal breathing.
In. Out.
In. Out.
I hadn’t had a full-blown panic attack in weeks. And I was reminded of just how much I hated this feeling. A bear wasn’t chasing me. I knew that. I’d seen a bear and actually thought it was going to break down my door and maul me to death. So why couldn’t my body tell the difference between that and a normal day at work?
Ten minutes passed, and when my heart rate finally calmed, I lifted my head. So much for that. I hadn’t even made it out the front door before my body freaked out.
I stood on shaky legs to lock the front door. I planned to hide away in my room for the rest of the day in shame. Maybe I would re-read one of my favorite books and wallow with a cup of tea. Well, maybe just a hot cup of water, since that was all I could afford.
Tears burned behind my eyes as I walked to the door, ready to lock it and officially declare the day a failure. But just as my fingers touched the latch, a knock sounded.
I jumped, my heart racing all over again. Who on earth was knocking at 7:30 a.m.?
I cracked the door open and was greeted by dark curls and blue eyes. My neighbor/boss stood before me, holding a steaming cup of coffee and a poppy seed muffin.
“Morning,” Jay said. “Figured you could use thesebefore your first day.” He held out the muffin and the styrofoam cup.
I blinked. I was half-dressed and blotchy from a full-blown panic attack. “Uh… thanks,” I said, taking the cup and muffin while trying to hide behind the door.
