The familiar voice instantly sent me into almost immediate fight-or-flight.
“Hello, my name is Dr. Pike, and I’ll be presenting today on titanium implants.”
My eyes widened. My heart dropped into my stomach.
And everything came crashing down.
CHAPTER 40
He looked the same with salt-and-pepper hair and intense dark brown eyes. He wore a dress shirt and a tie. He looked the exact same as he did a few months ago. The only thing missing was his white lab coat.
My fingers went numb as I tried to grip my pen, the room closing in around me. My heart was pounding so loudly I could barely hear Dr. Pike’s voice over the beat. My chest felt like someone was squeezing it too tightly, and it seemed impossible to draw in a full breath.
“Hope?” Jay asked beside me, his hand coming down gently on my arm. “Are you okay?”
I couldn’t respond. The numbness was spreading to my tongue and face.
Jay’s eyes widened with alarm as he noticed my uneven breathing and the frozen look in my eyes. “Hope, what’s wrong?” he asked urgently, trying to get my attention.
The room started to spin, and I felt like I might actuallypass out if I stayed there any longer. Without another word, I hurried out of my chair and bolted for the door, my legs moving on autopilot. I heard Jay calling after me, but his voice was muffled and distant, lost amidst my panic.
I pushed through the doors and stumbled into the lobby, but it wasn’t far enough. I continued down a series of hallways until I reached another set of doors. I had no idea where they led. I just knew I had to get farther away from that awful man in the assembly hall.
I found myself in a side garden, the sound of trickling water permeating the chilly, humid air.
The garden was surrounded by tall stone walls covered in climbing vines. A scenic pool lay at the center, several small waterfalls gently cascading into it, creating a soothing atmosphere I might’ve appreciated if I could focus on anything other than my desperate need to breathe.
I leaned against the cool stone wall, my breath coming in ragged gasps. The sun was blurred behind the clouds, and the air was chilly at this altitude. I found myself shivering. I closed my eyes, trying to steady my racing heart, folding my arms across myself to keep warm and to hold myself together as I felt like I was falling apart.
Moments later, I heard footsteps approaching, and Jay’s voice echoed across the courtyard.
“Hope? Where are you?”
I didn’t have the energy to respond. I slid down the wall and sat on the soft grass, leaning against the stone.
Jay rounded the corner and spotted me. Relief washed over his face as he ran toward me.
“Hey,” he said gently, kneeling beside me. “You’re okay. I’m here…respira.”
I nodded weakly, shocked to find tears streaming down my face. Jay’s warm hands cupped my cheeks, wiping the tears away as they fell.
“In and out,” he instructed softly. “Slowly.”
I followed his lead, focusing on the rhythmic sound of the water trickling nearby and Jay’s steady presence. Gradually, my breathing became less labored, and the tightness in my chest began to ease.
“That’s it,” Jay murmured. “You’re okay.”
I wiped at my tears, embarrassed but grateful. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to cause a scene.”
Jay shook his head, his jaw clenching. “I’m assuming that was the Dr. Pike you worked with?”
I nodded, lifting my hand to wipe away the last of my tears. Slowly, my heart rate returned to normal, and the numbness eased from my face.
“I feel so weak having a reaction like that,” I admitted, running a hand down my face. “I feel like he’s won somehow every time I have an attack.”
Jay reached out and took my hand, helping me stand.
“You don’t get to choose how your body responds to trauma,” he said. “Anxiety has a way of needing to work its way out. That doesn’t make you weak.”
