Rocco, unprompted, chimed in. “Trust me, it’s delicious.” He took the bowl. “Are you gonna eat it?”
She grabbed it from him, laughing in the way I remembered from my childhood. “Well, I’m not letting you have it. Youclearlydon’t need it.”
I didn’t know if I could do this every day. I knew coming home would highlight the side of her I hadn’t seen in a long time, the side of her that had gotten worse. And she needed someone to remind her to eat, make sure she took her meds, and help when she snapped. I knew there was something going on, but I didn’t have the heart to speculate. It was eating at me from just seeing the signs.
Rocco helped me take care of her for a little while, claiming all he had on that afternoon was work at the restaurant, and then in a moment together, where he pulled me to the side, he told me I should go with him. We were alone in the kitchen, my mom in the living room, shouting answers out at the reruns of TV quiz shows.
“To your very not illegal thing?” I asked in a whisper.
“Or go to my place,” he said. “But my brother might be right. You could be useful to have there. And it’s not like you’re going to say anything.”
“Is that a threat?” My hand lay against his chest, a finger pressing between the space of his buttons, ready to tear open his shirt—I was forgetting where I was.
“No, no, that’s just the truth,” he said. “In some honesty, I don’t want to take my eyes off you. And some extra honesty, since my brother mentioned changing up the rules since my dad died, I’m willing to blow up all pretense of what people think about me.”
I gulped hard, my heartbeat throbbing in my ears. “You sound like you’re about to ask me to go steady.”
“No, I’m asking you to come do what you do, and analyze shit,” he said. “Plus, you’ll get paid.”
I slapped his chest. “I told you, I’m not taking your money.”
“I know you’re not taking it, which is why I’d pay you,” he said. “I read your file. I know your mom doesn’t have comprehensive health insurance.”
“So?”
“Let me help.”
“I—” I looked up at him, and his eyes softened. He was totally different to the person I’d met the first time. “You’re not allowed to, not unless I do something for it.”
He leaned in and kissed me. “You’re a good boy, I’m sure you’ll do many good things for me.”
“I’m still not taking your money,” I said. “I have plans in place to pay for my mom, if and when she needs it,” I whispered, looking around to make sure she wasn’t sneaking up behind us.
“I just wanna help,” he said softly.
“You could’ve helped by letting me catch you doing something illegal, and then I could build a case, and—” I started before he cut me off with a finger to my mouth. It was funny now, because I knew there was never going to be any traction to it. I didn’t know why or how, but he was comfortable now, knowing there would be no investigation.
“I already helped by giving you another name, another two names, actually. Two families. They’d go down easy. I’m sure of it,” he said. “But now we’re fucking, I don’t think I’d let you.”
I giggled at the wordfucking. “You wouldn’t let me?”
“No, I wouldn’t.”
My mom coughed, appearing in the doorway. “You two are still here,” she said. “I told you. I don’t need anything else. You two can go off on your—date or whatever it is you do.”
Rocco wiggled his brows. “A date. Did you bring anything you could wear for a date?”
I’d brought some smart clothes, not quite a full suit, but enough so it was smart. And it would definitely be something wecould use if he really was sure he wanted me to come work for him tonight—which I was suddenly very nervous about.
13. ROCCO
I was attached. For the first time in my entire life, except for a dog we had when I was ten. I was attached to someone, and I wanted to be around him at all times. And he looked great in a suit, plus, he knew how to use a gun. Which was a huge plus, assuming it was never aimed at me.
We left his mom in peace, and she truly was at peace with her TV shows and her hobbies. And according to Kalen, she didn’t need to eat or take medication for a while, though he’d left a sleeve of cookies for her on the coffee table, telling me she wouldn’t make anything hot unless the urge struck—and it was hard to tell what urge was going to strike her.
Roland had been standing outside with the car for a while it seemed, but it didn’t matter because he welcomed us with a smile. A nod of the head was all we needed to communicate with each other about an all-clear signal. We needed to put a small rush on the rest of the day now, and part of that involved going to meetmymom, a surprise I wasn’t too keen to immediately pull on Kalen.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, securing himself into his seatbelt in the back seat.
