“Is she sick?” Santo asked. “If you really like him, we could foot her medical bills.”
Kalen shook his head. “No, no, I’m not here to get money. I was here because wehad a moment.” He reached out, pressing his hand to my chest. “Unless it was a moment I imagined.”
I knew the moment he was talking about. The moment where our power dynamic was established. I was the dominant, naturally, and he was submissive, giving in and calling me Daddy while he played coy and small. It was adorable, and it was everything I desired from a partner. To play with them. Everything I’d been denied before, Kalen was all of it, wrapped in a nice, neat package.
“He was supposed to leave,” I said. “I smelled him out as a Fed the moment he stepped inside, and so will everyone else.”
Santo laughed. “We’re not doing anything illegal,” he said.
Kalen stared at me, but was unable to smile, though Santo seemed receptive to the idea that there weren’t going to be any bodies falling tonight. “Everyone has heard rumors,” he mumbled, before going off into an explanation about his whole entire reason for being here—here, with us, and not with his mom. It was all a reason to be closer to her, and I couldn’t fault him for that, and neither could Santo. As we listened, his eyes blinked and there were tears. “I can’t just quit my job.”
Santo patted Kalen on the shoulder, pulling him into a side hug. “Has my brother told you about the other families?”
“I’m not going to put him in danger,” I said, grabbing at his arm. “And that’s why I told him to leave.”
Kalen was so subdued now as he stood by my side. “I can protect myself.”
With all the sass he’d shown me, I figured he could, but I didn’t want him to. If this was his confession of feelings for me, then I was confessing mine right back to him. And I didn’t want him getting mixed up in anything dangerous—unless that dangerous thing was me.
“All I’m saying is, there are people around here we could point him towards, let him start his little investigations. Then he sticks around foryouand his mom—and I’d also like to have someone on our side for the poker games.” We were speaking now as if he wasn’t even there.
I was conflicted. After days of struggle, thinking about all the things I wanted to do with him, I was now being told I could—in fact, Santo was telling me I should. Santo’s boyfriend had definitely made him much softer, but I think that’s what all of us wanted, to show that we could build on the Bianchi empire without everyone living in fear of us—except the other families and the people they sent to bring us down. They deserved to live in fear of a shallow grave.
“I have a week and a half left of my vacation, which was granted for compassionate leave,” Kalen said. “So I don’t have to work, or do anything, and wecan try dating.” He looked up at me, eyes blinking. He rubbed at his pink nose with the back of his sleeve—it was getting cold, and late.
Santo let out a cheer, startling more customers as they left the restaurant. We laughed about it, but the laughter stopped when Roland came back to tell us that Tomaso was waking, and he didn’t want to lay a hand on him—which was a wise decision considering Tomaso’s affection for inflicting pain on others.
“Go home,” I told Kalen.
He nodded then shook his head. “I want to talk to you alone.”
I looked him over. “Go to my place. Roland. Can you take him?”
Santo scoffed. “Guess that means we’re taking my car, then.”
And a good job as well, since Tomaso was definitely going to soil himself on the drive to Mom’s place. Kalen saved my car from some expensive detailing, and there was a stir ofexcitement in me to think there’d be someone waiting for me at home.
10. KALEN
From the back of the car, I asked Roland to take me to my mom’s place first. It wasn’t too far from where we currently were outside the Palazzo. If I was going to stay the night at Rocco’s, I wanted to have my things with me, and maybe for once, I could find some inner peace when I wasn’t needed to be constantly on edge to help take care of my mom.
“Sure thing,” Roland said. He’d been quiet, usually. I’d seen him in the periphery of my eye at times, and part of me thought I could’ve taken a job like a driver, but for the three brothers, it seemed they only handed out that privilege to some of the men who had been with the family for years, the semi-retired types.
I bit my tongue, trying not to ask him too many questions, but after the adrenaline rush of meeting Santo, the head of the three brothers, and because I was just so naturally curious, I couldn’t help but ask questions. And Roland laughed a lot, I think trying to disarm me, or at least stop me from getting any real information from him.
“The family is great,” he said. “Mostly, you should know that if you have their back, then they’ll have your back.”
That sentiment was like a stone in my stomach. I knew the federal government weren’t loyal. I’d had friends laid off, all benefits cut and everyone forced not to contact them. I supposed in some ways, they might not have been any better than a family who everyone named as mafia. It might also have made some sense that Rocco was able to so easily get a hold of my file—and another feeling sank deeper into my stomach about trust. I didn’t know who to trust.
“You’re not looking too good,” Roland said as he parked. “I’d suggest a warmer jacket. These weather patterns are unpredictable.”
I nodded to him. “I will. Thanks. I’ll just be a minute.”
It wasn’t like my mom’s address was secret, and though I thought I was one of the most observant people, I’d missed a lot of little details about Rocco—and that definitely stemmed from my attraction to him. It was another heavy drop in my stomach, forcing my teeth to clench, my eyes to screw shut, and the cold air to whip up a frenzy in my lungs.
From the dark street, with a single stark white streetlamp beside my mom’s apartment building, I headed inside and waited for the cranky elevator to come down from whatever floor it was on. I assumed there had once been a red flashing number above the call button.
My mom was still awake when I got to the apartment, her brows knitted together like they were part of her newest crochet project. “Didn’t go well?” she asked, slowly shaking her head.
