“Of course.” I head for my room as I hear Molly whispering at Hazel for embarrassing her.
I desperately want to take a shower but I wait until I hear their giggling move to Hazel’s room at the end of the hall. Then I grab my towel and hide out in the scalding hot water. I am still too afraid to look at my phone. I had only seen a glance of what River showed me, and I am terrified to see the comments. I never stray from my brand, posting only what is ‘approved’ content. So to get drunk and post myself drunkenly singing and crying? I am more than embarrassed. Over one hundred thousand people could’ve seen me acting like an idiot. Not to mention, Max.
My heart aches thinking about her. Of course, she wasn’t one of the people who texted me, I checked. I was the last one to send a text, and thankfully, it wasn’t a drunk text last night.
My head is still pounding despite the coffee I drank on the way home. Max was mad at me, but I’ve never seen her like that before. Is it really over? Or maybe she had as much to drink as I did. Well, no one had that much last night.
All I wanted was to spend the night with Max. I thought maybe we’d hit it off at the party and go home together again. I thought if I could just get her to see me again, things would allwork out. I didn’t realize how upset she was. It wasn’t my fault I thought she had something going on with Superwoman, I mean they were literally in matching costumes. What was I supposed to think? It didn’t help that she basically blew me off for the entirety of last week. I hate not knowing what is going through her head, but I also hate having to ask. She isn’t exactly an open book, and anytime I try getting her to open up, she immediately shuts down. She’s like a scared cat I have to approach slowly.
I get out of the shower and head right for my room, thankful that Hazel and Molly are still in her room. After getting dressed, I decide to tackle social media. I sit on my bed and head to Instagram first. Even though River deleted the post, there are over 100 comments on my last post, even though I can tell the comments have nothing to do with it. Thankfully, it isn’t a branded post, so at least none of my clients were getting these notifications too. My stomach drops as I look at my follower count, knowing that I lost at least two thousand followers overnight. Sometimes I lose followers, but never this many at once. I need to do damage control and fix this quickly.
Most of the comments are bashing me for looking like a wreck, and the other half are voicing their concerns. I get it, I was drunkenly singing and then crying into the toilet. I don’t even want to know which videos I actually posted, but one can guess. I post an Instagram story of text saying I’m sorry for the drunk posts. I over-served myself, and that’s unlike me, but I’m okay and taking the next few days off to recover. Hopefully, that will tide everyone over until I can think about how to handle it. It’s not like they need more of an explanation, but I need to get back those I lost and make sure no more decide to leave.
I breathe a little lighter after I post. Some of the contracts I signed would become void if I dipped under one million followers. Which would mean a lot of the money I planned tocome in wouldn’t be. It’s not like there’s a way to smudge the numbers; if I lost a few thousand more, I’d be fucked.
Chapter Ten
MAX
Cari’s Instagram story is the first thing I see when I check Instagram. She posted it like nineteen hours ago, but it wasn’t like I was trying to check up on her. She’d texted me a few times apologizing for the party, but I didn’t answer. I didn’t have anything more to say to her, at least for now. I didn’t want to get sucked into her drama and stress myself out. I had enough going on with work and life that I didn’t need someone I wasn’t even dating causing drama.
I click through her story, flipping through the next half dozen before I get bored and put my phone away. I check my watch and glance at the client. It was a surprise engagement shoot, but it was supposed to start twenty minutes ago.
“I’m so sorry, my fiancé is on the way. Her sister said she was wearing sweats, and if you knew my fiancé, she never wears sweats. So she had to persuade her to change clothes.” My client, Jeremiah, says. His forehead is glistening lightly with sweat, and I know it’s due more to nerves than the weather.
“Don’t worry, we have plenty of time,” I reassure him.
I knew he was worried about the sun setting too quickly or before she could get here, but there wasn’t much I could doabout that. I could always offer to do some quick Photoshop later; it wouldn’t be the first time. But I knew he’d rather have an authentic photo.
“She’s here!” he cheers, seeing a text on his phone.
“Perfect.” I hold up my camera looking to see the best angle with the current direction of the sun. “Right over here is perfect, but I can follow you. I know you want it as natural as possible.”
“Thank you, Max.” He takes a deep breath, and his fiancée is led, blindfolded, toward him.
“Jer?” she asks when she gets close enough. She must smell his cologne or something because there’s no way she can see through the silk scarf. But I’m taking photos anyway, and when he takes off the blindfold, she gasps.
“Oh my goodness! You did this!?” She pushes his chest playfully as tears fall from her eyes.
“I know our engagement was personal and just for us, but you’ve always said you wanted photos we could share. I wanted it to be someplace special, and this was the first place I saw you, running with my brother, and you were scarfing down a hot dog like no other. I knew in that moment I had to meet you,” Jeremy says as I sidestep to make sure I get all the angles.
“I can’t believe you did this. And I almost wore sweats!” She laughs when she realizes. I manage to capture it completely, the way he’s looking at her and the pure joy on her face.
“You could’ve worn anything, but I knew you’d never forgive me if you didn’t dress up.” He chuckles.
I take a step back to get a broader view, so I can’t hear what they’re saying anymore. But he holds her, brushing loose hair out of her face and taking the time to kiss her. The sun is the perfect shades of pink and orange behind them, along with the cityscape illuminating around them. There aren’t too many people around them, making it a fairly secluded part of the park, which will make touch-ups even easier. He’s whisperingsomething in her ear, and she’s looking at him in awe, when something hits me in the chest like a brick. Am I ever going to have that?
I thought I had it with Chelsea, but that was clearly all a lie. I am getting closer and closer to thirty every week, and although I’m not normally one to think about such patriarchal ideas, it is something I’m thinking about. Am I going to find someone who complements me the way Jeremy and Missy so obviously complemented each other? Even River and Aspen are so perfect together. It’s hard to imagine them ever being apart.
I used to think maybe that would happen with Chelsea, that she’d come back and realize she made a mistake. But I know now that it wouldn’t matter; I deserve someone who knows they want me without embarrassing me in front of all our loved ones.
Cari pops into my head, and I unknowingly let out a deep sigh. It’s not that I don’t care for her, but I can’t put myself through another Chelsea. Not that they were similar in personality, but in the way they went about things. Cari is a bit unhinged, to say the least, and I need someone a bit more stable. I can’t text twenty-four seven or consistently reassure my partner I’m not cheating on them or talking to anyone else. I just want to live my life and have someone who could also live theirs, and let them intertwine sometimes.
I finish up the shoot with Jeremy and his fiancée and pack up my stuff. Thankfully, I hadn’t needed much, so it all fits in my shoulder bag. I’m not tired enough to go home, so I decide to stop somewhere and get a drink. Aspen is spending the weekend away with River, but I know my roommates are probably around. I check their location on Life360 and see they’re at the bar just down the block from our apartment, so I drop off my stuff and surprise them.
Liz spots me first, waving frantically with her dark red hair swishing behind her. She’s leaning over the bar to get myattention and I laugh, waving back. You’d think she’s already drunk, but the truth is this is just Liz. Although I do spot two empty glasses in front of her. Rachel is next to her sipping a glass of wine and waves more timidly.
“Finally! Now this one might get the party started!” Liz cheers and wraps her arms around my neck for a messy hug.
