ME: I sort of did the walk of shame…
ME: and her two best friends caught me leaving…
EL: omg
ME: Now I feel like an idiot bc I left my phone and I see her all the time
EL: maybe she feels the same? Like that it was just a hookup?
ME: but what if I don’t want it to be just a hookup?
EL: maybe she feels the same
ME: but how would I know??
EL: uh maybe by talking to her??
ME: gross. no.
EL: LMAO.
EL: valid
Groaning, I push my laptop aside and decide to distract myself. I eye the pumpkin muffin that Lina brought over. It has pot in it, and right now I need to relax. I take a few bites, and I don’t feel anything, so I take a few more. Lina said not to have more than half the muffin, but it tastes so good. I listen to her despite wanting more and wrap the other half up.
Heading downstairs, I start catching up on the chores around the house. The laundry is first, where I double-check for my phone, and then the dishes. I start to feel the weed kicking in, and my brain is light and airy—almost as if every thought is like cotton candy instead of sharp potato chips. I don’t know if that makes sense, but it makes sense to me. I decide to put on Twilight while I clean; it’s a comfort movie, even if I hate being referred to as the main character.
I’m sweeping up when I decide to take a break and lie on the couch. The blankets look too cozy not to relax under, and I can take a few-minute break. Five minutes later, I’m itching for a snack. I don’t have a lot of choices in my fridge, but I settle on a bag of croutons with ranch dressing to dip them in and some gummy bears. I sit back on the couch and watch Bella and Edward fall in love. Will I ever have that? Do I even want that?
Maybe not some toxic love between a vampire and a human, but real, life-changing love. When Taylor and I broke up, I didn’t really bat an eye. It was more annoying knowing I’d be working with them all the time. They’re competitive and only wanted the job I did, so I couldn’t have it. But maybe I wasn’t really in love with her. We got along fine, and we dated for a while, but I never felt that life-altering spark—not the way I feel about Tilly. Not that I’m in love with her either; what she and I have is mostly sexual tension.
I crush a bag of pepperoni slices and a chocolate bar before the munchies start to fade. Lina must grow some potent shit. I’venever had a high like this before. I feel relaxed, carefree, and just want to nap—now that the munchies are gone. As the end credits of the movie roll, I change the laundry I forgot about into the dryer before I turn on New Moon. It’s sort of depressing, but you can’t binge the saga without watching all the movies—which is apparently what I’m going to do now.
As I close my eyes, I hear the music playing in the background and the vampires talking—Bella begging to be turned into one and Edward saying no. I wonder how I’d handle being a vampire. It seems like there’s a lot of running involved, which I wouldn’t like. But you don’t sweat, and I’d be fast, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad? I don’t think I could handle the whole blood-drinking part of it, though. I’d have to find a way around that or something. Do vampires faint? If they do, is it ever over blood? With my luck I’d be the first vampire fainting when they try to feed.
Tilly pops into my head, and I think she’d make a good vampire. She’s already pale and beautiful, but she’s strong and doesn’t have a problem with blood. Maybe I’d be better off as a wolf, but it seems like a lot of work not to shift and lose your clothes. It’s not like I could run around topless like the male wolves. I mean, I probably could, but I’d also get arrested for it. Maybe Tilly knows a trick for getting me over my blood phobia. I reach for my phone and realize it’s still at her house. Maybe I should go over there and get it. But as I stand, I see Edward shirtless on-screen, and all I can think about are those memes where he’s telling her, “This is the skin of a killer,” and I burst out laughing.
EIGHTEEN
Tilly
“Tills!” Hattie calls through the bedroom door.
I groan before answering. “What?”
“It’s breakfast time! Get dressed and come downstairs.”
“Fine! Give me five!” I call back.
I hear her walk down the stairs, and I turn over—groaning. My head is killing me. How much did I have to drink last night? Usually, I set up a glass of water and some Tylenol on my nightstand, but I guess drunk me wasn’t very helpful this time. Suddenly, I sit up, remembering Bells in my bed last night. She spent the night, didn’t she? But where is she? I glance toward the bathroom, but she isn’t in there either. I guess she went home. Did she sneak out before Hattie and Lina came over? I guess there is only way one way to find out.
I get out of bed, toss on some pajamas, and head to the bathroom to tame my messy hair. It’s a mix between sex hair and bedhead—something I don’t want to explain to my friends, let alone Ollie. Once that’s tamed, I brush my teeth. As I’m about to leave my bedroom, I hear an unfamiliar chime go off. It happens twice more, and I follow the sound to a cell phone on the floorunder my bed. I pick it up and recognize it as Bells’s phone. She carries the damn thing around wherever she goes. I’m shocked she left it here. But maybe that shows how much of a rush she was in when she was trying to leave.
I had thought we might talk in the morning. About whatever was going on between us. But now she’s gone, and I guess that’s my answer. I could be a one-night stand; I’ve done it plenty of times with other women. I just never usually had to see those women again on a daily basis. I slip the phone in my pocket and head downstairs before Hattie comes looking for me again.
“Look who’s finally up,” Lina teases as she sips her coffee out of one of my mugs.
“It’s barely nine a.m.,” I groan. I need coffee and some Tylenol before I get into this with them.
