She wasn’t sure she wanted to pursue that kind of safety anymore.
The kind that was born out of fear.
A fear of herself, which was one of the saddest realizations she’d ever had.
Maybe it was the conclusion of the thought she had had at the bakery the other day.
The one that she had been too afraid to take out and examine then. The one that she had begun to look at but hadn’t quite gotten a grip on.
“How are you feeling?”
His voice was rough, and the question was so unexpected that she buried her face in his chest and laughed. “I’m doing good. You?”
“I can’t feel my left leg, but otherwise, it’s all good.”
“Oh,” she said, rolling away from him and finding herself dumped onto the floor of the truck. “Sorry.”
“Nothing to apologize for,” he said. “Overall, I’d say I feel better than I have for a while.”
Well, she understood that.
If she thought too hard about how the hell they’d gotten here after he’d been such a jerk at the barn, she would only be disappointed in herself. Or maybe not. Maybe this was her moment to be like other girls. Not quite so rigid and well-behaved. But herself. Desperate for this hot man and giving in to that desperation because it felt good.
“Yeah. Well. Like I said, casual sex isn’t really in my skill set. Though I guess it is now.”
He made a short sound in the back of his throat, and she wondered if she’d offended him by calling it casual sex. But what the hell else could she call it? He’d been the one to make it very clear that he didn’t want marriage and children or anything like that.
It was an annoying thing for him to say, but as annoyed as she was, she also knew she couldn’t be angry at him for trying to make the parameters of this clear.
It was important, especially because he was her boss.
And since they were playing with fire there, it was best that they both be very clear about who they were and what they wanted.
She trusted him in the sense that she didn’t think he would ever fire her if she wanted to quit sleeping with him.
But then, she didn’t know enough about herself in this kind of situation to know what she would do if she got done sleeping with him and they were working together. Or he got tired of her.
Moved on to somebody else.
The idea made her stomach turn, which wasn’t fair. She was still married, technically. And she was getting all sick to her stomach thinking about him with some hypothetical woman. After having sex with him twice.
“What is this place?”
“This,” he said, “is Painted Ridge.”
“Oh,” she said.
“When the sun comes up, you’ll see it.”
“How long until the sun comes up?”
“About… a half hour.”
He moved to the front seat of the truck, and he was still totally naked. She didn’t mind the view. As much as she could see.
She held on tight as he started the truck, and turned it around, backing up against what she assumed would be the view, sunrise.
“I’ve got some supplies with me,” he said.
