“It’s not earning anything. I just can’t stop thinking about you.”
His words were like a punch straight to the gut. He couldn’t stop thinking about her? That seemed… well, that seemed like an actual declaration of something other than just attraction, and she had a feeling he didn’t mean for it to be that way.
“I can’t stop thinking about you either,” she said quickly. “And I don’t know if this is normal. I’ve only been with the one guy. Except you. And… I don’t care if it’s normal or not. I don’t care if it’s…” She was about to say she didn’t care if it imploded. She didn’t care if they were driving a souped-up Ferrari right at a brick wall. At this point, she just didn’t care. She had been cautious her entire life. She had done all the right things. She had certainly never made out with her boss on the outside of a work-related party. She had certainly never decided to have a physical-only affair and damn the consequences.
She was willing to take the risk because playing it safe hadn’t gotten her anything.
He didn’t want a family, he didn’t want a relationship, and that was just fine.
It was true. You shouldn’t go falling for the first guy you sleep with after a divorce, that was just logical. That was smart.
Everybody knew that.
So this was her… Sowing her wild oats.
Everyone needed to do that, and she had never done it. Maybe that was the real issue, the problem that Aiden was having. He had never really gone absolutely mad and done whatever he felt like doing. So he had imploded their perfectlygood life, but maybe the same feeling would’ve been coming for her no matter what.
This was her chance. To seize the day, seize Cody, howl at the full moon, be feral and wild and something else entirely.
She wanted to grab this opportunity by the horns, like the cowgirl she absolutely wasn’t. She wanted to make this change.
She needed this moment of insanity, even if it did blow up this job. This new life that she was trying so hard to build. That she had built. Roots wrapped around roots.
When would that feel like enough?
Never. She knew that already. Marrying the first guy hadn’t been the right choice. Marrying him hadn’t made it permanent.
She’d hoped she’d find stability, security, here in this job. Maybe she would. Maybe everything would be fine no matter what happened with him. Maybe this job would be one that lasted for a long while.
Maybe, though, nothing was permanent.
Maybe things weren’t meant to be.
Right then, she had the very uncomfortable vision of something, some grand divine hand pulling apart every piece of her. Forcing her to let go of every pattern, every assumption, everything that she had believed would keep her safe.
None of it had.
She had to rebuild herself, make a new way of being, a new way of thinking.
And if this was the trial by fire, the initiation that would take her there, then she was going to grab hold of it joyously.
“Come with me,” he said.
“I thought we weren’t doing this.”
“I didn’t say that. I said weshouldn’t. I said it was a bad idea. I said I was your boss, and that ought to matter. I said it made me feel like a villain. But I never said we weren’t doing this.”
Her stomach went tight, all the air rushing out of her lungs. “Oh. Well, if it’s so very stupid, I’m not sure why we’re doing it.”
“Because,” he said, his eyes blazing into hers. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking about this. In two days, guests will arrive at the hotel, and we’ll be busy working. Maybe we’ll forget about it, but I can’t forget about it now. I might die if I don’t have you.”
She couldn’t think of a woman alive who could possibly resist a man who looked like Cody making a declaration like that.
No one had ever looked at her like that.
No one had ever made her feel so deeply, truly desired.
And she wanted him too. So much.
