The faintest exhale and the softening of his tight shoulders told me he felt comfort when I was in his arms, and warmth bloomed in my chest.
“Ander would say I am a monster, and he knows me quite well,” he said dryly.
“You loved them.” I had heard enough of his voice by now to hear when something cost him.
“Ander’s rebels were the family I always wanted. They brought me into their circle for his sake. Then I sacrificed them for our cause.” His voice was harsh. “I was certain then and I am certain now, and I still despise it.”
Then, more quietly, “Myself. I despise myself. But I would do it all again.”
For you.He didn’t say it, but I heard it, and I hated it. I didn’t want to be the reason Ander had lost Tesa.
He was looking out at the night, searching for something. “So there you are. You make your best choice and you carry the cost. If you were like the queen, you wouldn’t have to carry that cost at all. It would be nothing to you, a small coin slipping from your pocket.”
“We leave one enthralled mortal in a cage to try to free them all.” The scene at the Night Market still nettled me. It was going to nettle me until I was able to break open the cages and free every enthralled mortal. “Would you forgive Ander if he made his best choice and I was killed?”
“No, of course not.” He turned his head and brushed his lips over my temple, the touch soft and reverent. “Now sleep and try not to dream.”
Seventeen
Cara
We rode all day and then through the night again, stopping only to rest the horses. Only for that. There were more orcs blocking the passages out; Fear and Kiegan viewed them grimly and rode to the next until we managed to slip past them.
By the time we neared the capital, the sky beyond the castle was the color of a bruise turning.
“Why must this shit start so soon after sunrise?” Kiegan growled as we rode through the first gate, dropping from a hard gallop to merely a punishing trot to cut through the mortal crowds.
I’d expected the city to be empty. But there were mortals in the street, looking toward the arena. I’d grown up in Stonehaven hearing about the Trials secondhand, about who had been claimed, and I had tried to avoid the conversations. But here, people were watching.
Watching, I realized suddenly, for new dragons to fly. To see what dragons had returned from their dreaming. Every shifter would fly today.
Or burn.
Those were the options. I had been doubting the curse, but right now, minutes from sunrise, I believed.
“Tell me we have time.” My words came out ragged; I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to straighten my legs again.
“We have time,” Fear said.
“Tell me we have time without lying.”
We galloped to the stables where Fear had gotten the horses and swung off our horses in the courtyard.
“Go,” Fear ordered us both, catching the horses’ reins. “I’ll take care of them and see you there.Run.”
Kiegan and I ran. My legs were cramping, and my thighs were so raw that I was in fiery agony, but it was better than not being claimed.
“I’m so miserable I’ve forgotten we should be terrified,” I gasped out to Kiegan as we raced down the cobblestone streets.
He let out a harsh bark of a laugh.
Kiegan and I ran through the halls and down into the labyrinth, and I was glad that we had visited the Claiming grounds before. My boots slid over lichen and I stumbled; Kiegan grabbed my hand to steady me. The two of us raced on and he did not let go, and some small part of my mind that was still capable of wonder stuck on the fact I was holding hands with an orc. An orc who terrified the shifters.
We reached the opening to the ceremony grounds. I blinked in the sudden light after the dark of the labyrinth. The sun had almost fully risen, and the lush grass was softly illuminated. The sea was still dark on our right; we would be expected to throw ourselves off the cliffs and fly within the hour.
We ran for the doors to the repurposed temple. They stood open and we slid to a stop, gulping in breaths of air and trying to compose ourselves for a split second before we strode in. I attempted Fear-level of confidence, raising my chin as we strode through the silent hall. The clans all stood beneath their banners, waiting.
The room still smelled of campfire. The scorch marks in the ground around the altar still sent a chill through my body.
