Did Fear still not trust her? And if he didn’t trust her, should I be wary?
“What is it that you want, Maura?” I didn’t feel I owed her a great debt of civility.
“You have made friends in Bismyth.” She hadn’t managed to hide her resentment of that fact.
“Still a surprise to me as well,” I agreed.
“But they were Fear’s friends before they were yours. And they are his friends before they are yours.”
That was true, and I knew it, but it was still jarring to hear aloud. I didn’t dignify it with a response, merely sipping my tea.
“If you could tolerate my presence, you could have someone on your side who is loyal to you above Fear.”
The sip of tea that I’d just taken attempted to murder me. I gasped and put the cup down as Maura watched me with what seemed like mild disgust. “How would you ever be loyal to me above Fear? Your loyalty to Fear has been terrifying.”
That was a kind way of phrasing it. I wasn’t sure if she was entirely loyal to Fear after being cast out of Bismyth, but I certainly didn’t expect more from her toward me.
“I’ll be terrifying on your behalf, Cara. Never against you.” She sounded so sure of herself, but now she seemed to falter. “Never again.”
I wished I had Fear’s gift to understand people, because I didn’t understand this conversation. I glanced back at the door. This felt as unreal as if I were dreaming. “You can see, given our past, why I find this conversation…strange.”
“Yes, I understand. I came to apologize.” She was always so hard to read that I couldn’t tell if there was any real emotion under her cool affect or if she was merely going through the motions of an apology in the hopes that she’d be allowed back into Bismyth. “I am sorry that I hurt you.”
I expected some caveat about how unexpectedly breakable I was, but she paused there. How unusually diplomatic.
She stared at me for a long second, then seemed to interpret my stunned response as goading her for something more.
She let out a long, exasperated breath. “I told myself I was protecting Fear. I had done that for a long time. We had been good friends and…I was afraid of what you meant.”
“That I would take your place?” I wasn’t sure entirely whatthatmeant.
“At first, I felt that you had. I have come to understand it was never…my place.” She bit her lower lip, looking away.
She was always so proud, and I felt both a little uncomfortable and a little touched by her vulnerability. She probably still saw me as lesser than her. But she’d humbled herself enough to come to me when she needed help.
“I understand why you would love being part of Bismyth.” Certainly, I had fallen in love with the clan.
“The other clans are annoying.” Then, reluctantly, “I don’t want you to think I’m here just to get back into Bismyth.”
I thought exactly that. It was impossible to hide my skepticism as I asked, “You want forgiveness?”
“I want to be free,” she said, and she sounded so fervent that I believed it, but I didn’t understand what she meant.
She rose to her feet, pulling the fabric off the bundle from her lap. “This is a gift from Starfire, our attempt to repay the debt I owe you.”
I took it without understanding what it was. It was smooth and hard under my palms.
What she had pressed into my arms looked like light, scaled armor. It was gleaming, purple, iridescent, and unearthly. It was also the smallest set of armor I had ever seen.
“What is it?” I asked, and the question was stupid on the face of it, but why had she made me armor from Starfire’s scales?
Something came over her face, possibly exasperation chased by resignation. She had just offered to stand by my side, and surely she had to realize that meant answering stupid questions about dragon shifter ways.
She stared over my head as she launched into her explanation. “It’s a debt offering. I wronged you, and I am acknowledging that. The item is a physical representation of my attempt to repay the debt I owe you for…” She seemed to lose some energy.
When the pause had gone on long enough, I suggested, “Beating me nearly to death?”
Her throat worked once, and then because Maura was nothing if not brave and fierce, she blurted it out. “For betraying you when I should have seen you as a sister because we are both Bismyth.” Pain came over her face. “Or we were.”
