“You were kind.”
“I usually am.”
That was true enough. Kindness generally served my clan best and my own purposes well. It was a lesson too many leaders never seemed to learn.
“Fear.” My name, expressed as a sigh.
“I’m sorry I could not leave you to suffer as you requested.” Now I was being an ass. But she did deserve it a bit, didn’t she?
“No, she does not,”Shadowbane offered.“You could take the opportunity to apologize. Oh! Give her a gift!”
Shadowbane made me want to bury my head in my hands as Cara had done earlier. To him, I said,“You don’t understand anything about mortals.”
“That is certainly true.”Shadowbane sounded awfully judgmental.
I considered telling Cara that Shadowbane was on her side. It sounded too conciliatory, though. I would stand at her side, but I was not going to apologize, no matter how much Shadowbane whined about it.
“When I said I wished you would leave me to suffer and then asked for your help.” She chewed her lower lip, then lay back on the bed as if she were spent. “That was…”
The moment hung. I leaned back, too, tenting my arms behind my head so I could look over at her profile: those pretty lips over her stubborn chin, the forehead that wrinkled so easily with her emotions.
I offered, “Do you want me to supply adjectives?”
She shook her head, too tired to be pithy. Her armor was down for once, and I didn’t have it in me to mock her after all. “It was ungrateful.”
There were so many things that I could say in response. The words formed, then scattered, formed and scattered again. I could not settle on the right ones. I was not ready to put my anger aside entirely. But she had not been ungrateful.
I wasn’t going to pretend all was well. She felt the same. I had to say something, though.
“It is only with this woman that you ever find yourself speechless.”Shadowbane observed.“A rare and delightful occasion.”
“Shadowbane says,” I began, and she glanced over at me, her eyes widening. “That you were brave. That it was admirable. That no matter what else is between us…you deserved to have me at your side.”
“You are lying!”Shadowbane was outraged.“Well, you are right. Shewasbrave and admirable. But you are making up my words because you do not want to admit to them yourself.”
“I was not brave. My hands shook, and you had to help me…” She bit her lower lip once more.
Sometimes it felt as if I was never going to convince her to see herself accurately. “Well. There’s no point in arguing with our dragons. They are ancient and wise, and we are not those things at all.”
Her lips ticked up faintly. “Tell Shadowbane thank you.”
“I like her,”Shadowbane said.
To him,“She would have ended both our lives.”
“You like her too.”
There was nothing else for Cara and me to say to each other tonight. We were not going to heal the rift between us before bed.
“Go to sleep, mortal.”
Sometime during the night, she moved toward my side, her body pressing against mine. I ran hot, after all, and the nights were cold in the forest. It was a primitive instinct. Though I would consider mocking her for it in the morning.
The night before, I had felt her body against mine, and I had very gently, carefully, moved her back.
Tonight, when she nestled her head into the crook of my shoulder, I stared at the blond head that had pushed her way into the hollow of my throat.
I did not put my arm around her, did not press my palm to the small of the back, or wrap myself around her. Instead, I put my hand flat against the cool sheet, giving her my shoulder for her pillow but not holding her.
