“Is he going to hold me down?” His voice was still gentle. He was frightened; I could see it in every line of his face, and he was still the kindest person in the room.
“I hope not,” I said honestly.
“But he might.”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t make that promise, and we both knew it.
Tay looked at Maris, then at Corbyn, and it was only because of the width of his glance around that I realized how far apart they stood.
But mostly, Tay only had eyes for me and for the knife at my hip.
“She never hurt me,” Tay said suddenly. It was like a dam breaking before a river as his words spilled out. “I know what you think she is. I’ve heard it all. I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m saying she never hurt me. She healed me when I was dying, and I never saw her be cruel. Not once.”
His eyes glittered with tears. “But this is cruel. I’m healed, and I’m well, and you’ll take it away from me because it’s the queen’s work.”
“That’s not why, Tay. You can’t trust her.” I could feel Fear and my mother and Corbyn watching me fail. I could not find the right words no matter how desperately I grasped for them. “I’ve done it on myself. I promise it will be all right.”
“That’s different, isn’t it? Doing it to yourself?” His throat bobbed. “Cara. I’m asking you. Please. Cara.”
He said my name softly, the way he had begun to say it when he was dying. Some of the sibling angst and agitation and mockery had been worn away by the shadow of the grave, and he had said my name with tenderness, as if he was glad I was in the world.
“The queen will use the enchantment to find you and to find this camp.” The words fell from my lips gracelessly, and his shoulders sagged.
My mother stepped forward. “Enough. We have to do this, Tay. You’ll understand after.”
“I trust you,” Tay told me urgently. He didn’t look at Fear, who was advancing, or at Maris, who had given Fear the order. He just reached for me. “I always trust you, Cara, please?—”
“Please trust me in this,” I said, and our voices were overlapping, ourpleasesand the ragged edges of our voices.
Fear was careful. He got his arms around Tay from behind and held. Tay was strong now, genuinely strong in the way he had never been, the queen’s healing complete and workingagainst us both right now, but he was never going to be enough against Fear. Tay knew it.
He fought anyway.
Fear gritted his teeth. Being careful was hard and cost him, and he had to be far more careful because my mother was watching how she handled her son.
“Cara.” Tay’s voice, strained. Fear’s arms around him. “Cara, please. I’m asking you.”
Doing this quickly was the most merciful. For all of us. Now I didn’t hesitate.
I pressed my palm to his side and ripped the knife free of the scabbard.
My mother turned away, her face pale. Corbyn took a step toward her, then stopped.
My hand was shaking on the hilt as I passed the blade near his skin. I dared to look up at Fear’s face, but I already knew he saw. He always saw.
Still, his gaze was pointedly fixed somewhere over my shoulder as he held Tay still, and he was whispering soothing nonsense to my brother that contrasted sharply with those powerful arms forcing Tay still. Somehow he could do both, brutal restraint and murmured kindness.
The enchantment rose suddenly, protruding from the skin near his throat. Maris covered her mouth with her hand. It was hard and glowing, yellow like an old bruise.
I steeled myself as I raised the knife, or tried to, because Tay was pleading and there were tears clinging to my lashes, and the world was too blurry to cut into my brother’s skin. I hated myself for being weak, for slowing us down.
Fear’s hand fell over Tay’s mouth, and Tay made a sound of protest and anger that was smothered by Fear’s palm. I glanced up at him, surprised. Fear gazed back at me, blank-faced andunapologetic and cold. If I couldn’t focus with my brother’s begging, he would take care of it.
Welcome to the war, mortal.
I blinked away the tears, feeling them track down my cheeks, but they no longer blurred my vision.
“I’m sorry. It’ll be all right,” I whispered to Tay.
