“He still mourns.” Fear put his hand over hers. “Tesa, you don’t have to be ready to see him tonight. But try not to be afraid.”
I was stuck on her words.He mourned a person who deserved it.
What had she done for the queen?
“Please.” Her gaze was steady on mine. She seemed to know Fear and his ways, even after a gap of all those years. I was the one she didn’t trust.
“Yes,” I said, and then reconsidered as the full weight of that promise pressed down. “Ander will be hurt if he knows you were alive, and we concealed the truth?—”
“I need time,” Tesa cut in, her voice desperate.
“You’ll have it,” Fear promised. “We can give you time.”
He cut a look at me. There was a harder edge in it than ever before, something stern and unyielding. The version of Fear that commanded shifters and earned their fear.
I narrowed my gaze back at him. I was not to be commanded, and I would not be afraid, not of him.
“A moment, Tesa,” he asked her, and waited until she nodded before he rose.
I stalked out of the tent before him. Back to the basin set out with fresh water. I plunged my hands into it and began to wash, scrubbing too hard.
Fear burst out behind me. He was also moving a bit too quickly, but he slowed immediately, nodding to a rebel passing by. His hand fell on the small of my back, and I looked up at him, not trying to hide my fury.
For his part, he was smiling for someone else, not me, and he said through his teeth, “You are not going to tell Ander.”
“I can’t tell Ander.” I looked up at him and tried to force a smile of my own, but it was a snarl, and I knew it. “I don’t have a way to reach him. So you don’t have to worry.”
“I’m not discussing logistics.” He dipped his mouth near my ear. “This is Tesa’s story. It is her right to tell him when she is ready.”
“I know that. But it’s also wrong to keep this secret from him.”
“You already promised. So this conversation is rather academic, is it not?” He was condescending. I was close to feeling nostalgic about stabbing him.
“Of course, you keep all your promises.”
“I do.” He leaned against the post beside the basin, his tall body taking up enough space to grant us some privacy, so long as we spoke very softly. “I promised you long ago that I would seeyour brother well and your sister’s magic restored, and I have worked steadily toward that promise.”
“I’m not doing this right now.” There was no towel. Why was there no towel? I shook off my damp hands, irritated by the wetness and the chill in the air. “We have to talk about Tesa and Ander. What happened between us doesn’t matter.”
He leaned in as if he were going to tell me a secret. With his lips dangerously close to my ear, he breathed, “It matters to me.”
I forced myself to hold still despite the warmth of his breath on my skin. He was too close, close enough for me to see every part of those eyes. From a distance, they read gold; up close one could see the golden flecks glittering, bright and supernatural, within the amber irises. They were a dragon’s eyes, except for the shape of the pupil. Whether the hammering of my heart was alarm or rage or desire was impossible to determine.
Focus.
“We could tell him that she is alive but isn’t ready to see him. That’s the truth.”
“Yes, Ander will definitely take that well. Should I tell him—his old enemy—or would you like to take the lead?” His voice was bright and cutting. He gently gripped my bicep. “Do you think yourself strong enough to hold him back from going to the woman he loves, the one he still mourns, magically restored to life?”
I shook off his hand. He let go as soon as I moved. “Ander would understand.”
I wasn’t sure he would.
Fear gave me a cutting, dismissive glance. He was still angry at me. I had known that. It had been in the cold between us at times, but now I felt the full force of Fear’s anger, boiling away under the surface.
He offered his arm to me. “We should perhaps seek a quieter place for conversation.”
“Tesa is waiting for us to return.”
