My voice came out steadier than I felt, so I went on. “I won’t throw away the rebellion, no matter if it costs being bound to you all my life. I want to stop the queen. So tell me everything.”
“You’re certain?” The concern that flashed across his face might have been real. I could not tell, and I was trying to accept that I could not tell and that maybe it didn’t matter.
He was my ally, my dreadful, fearsome, deceitful ally. Bound to me just as I was to him. His excellence in lying was a strength that served us both. Most of the time.
“Don’t ask me that again.”
Decision settled in his face, replacing either the concern or the act. What was left was not tender.
He moved beneath me, pushing himself up onto his elbows. I slid off his lap, no longer straddling him, and both of us arranged ourselves so we were sitting face to face on the bed, our knees almost touching.
“I told you Lightbringer would be able to manifest unique powers. Beyond what we have seen from any other dragon.”
“Yes. She can break enchantments, right?”
“That was a bit of a lie,” Fear said, quick and brutal. It reminded me of someone ripping off a bandage. “Lightbringer can ignite mortal magic.”
He sounded harsh. I had the feeling he had just delivered some form of punishment, though I didn’t know why.
“There is no guarantee how a dragon’s capabilities and their mortal’s will combine and what they can do together.” He went on. “So you may manifest the ability to ignite mortal magic. Or you might manifest other gifts.”
“To give us back our magic?”
I was never far from the memory of having my magic drained: the Fae leaning above me, beautiful and disinterested, as I screamed.
“Yes. Lightbringer manifesting fully, bonding completely, her magic shaping that way…whether you have that power depends on so many factors. If it manifests, you could return magic to every mortal in this kingdom who had their magic stripped away. You could make mortals powerful enough to face the Fae, freed from their favors.”
The lamp light moved across his face.
“Lidi,” I said. “I could give Lidi back her magic?”
The name sat between us. I pictured her humming as she threaded flowers in my hair with her nimble fingers, the way flowers had turned toward her as if she were the sun made mortal. Along with the memory of her magic came the devastation of a child losing the thing that had made her feel extraordinary.
Disappointment flitted across his face, and I understood why: he wanted me to save a kingdom, and I still wanted to save my family. But he said, “Yes, Lidi.”
“When you brought me to the Trials, you had this plan all figured out, and you didn’t tell me.” My voice was bitter.
“Do you think you’ll bear Lightbringer’s silence better now knowing you might be able to give back your sister’s magic?” he demanded. “I wished to spare you that pain.”
“I would do anything!” My gaze snapped up to his. “To be able to do that for her…for all of them…”
“I believe Lightbringer sees you would do anything,” he said dryly. “She seems unmoved by your tendencies toward self-sacrifice. Perhaps because she saw one hero after another slay themselves—and her with them—on their enemy’s swords.”
“You thought I couldn’t endure failing.” The anger was there, clean and clarifying. “You kept my own powers a secret.”
“They are not your powers yet and they may never be. I kept myhopes a secret, which seems my right.”
He rose from the bed, not hiding the irritation that tensed the lean muscle of his back as he turned away from me. The tent offered little space to avoid each other, so he tampered meaninglessly with the brazier.
“I decided to preserve you from feeling like you were failing your family, to the best of my ability, though you seem determined to take an entire family’s weight on your shoulders.”
“You take an entire kingdom’s weight on your shoulders,” I retorted.
I could not stay still. I rose from the bed and paced, which was an unsatisfying proposition within the width of the tent. “That’s why you maneuvered me and tricked me. Why you and I are bound forever. So I can give mortals back their magic.”
“I made you the weapon that can destroy this rotten kingdom.” His words were flat and certain and unapologetic as he turned to face me.
I made you.
