That was all she would give me. I found it exasperating. I had reached out to her suggesting we should be friends, and she repaid me with nothing. “I suppose that’s on you to figure out. You are the one who tried to stab me. You are the one who should grovel for forgiveness.”
She stiffened, turning away from me. How she must wish she could fly now, so that she did not have to be trapped with me.
Shadowbane’s voice was a disapproving grumble in my mind.“You were right in what you said to the queen.”
“I was lying to the queen,”I reminded him.
“You’re lying to yourself now. She had every reason not to trust you. You are the one who should grovel.”
“I am not going to grovel to the person who almost murdered me.”
“Your kind is so dramatic. I have lived centuries. I understand every terrible thing Lightbringer has ever done. There is nothing that could reduce my love for her.”
“One, I have not lived for centuries, and I still react strongly to murder attempts. I’m not going to apologize for taking assassination attempts to heart. Two, if you understood Lightbringer so well, I think she would be here, manifesting her powers, and not ruining our chances against the queen.”
Cara’s gaze was on mine. She had stopped studying my collarbone and was studying my face. “You look far away. Are you talking to Shadowbane?”
“I am.”
“Does he know why Lightbringer won’t let me shift?”
“Not entirely. He knows bits and pieces. Lightbringer was very attached to a mortal once before.”
“Let me guess. She died in some bloody and horrible fashion, and Lightbringer is now trying to save me from being part of your rebellion with its inevitable, terrible stakes?”
“You’ll have to ask her.” It was more of a confirmation than I intended.
She looked away from me. “This was always a terrible plan, Fear.”
“Don’t lose faith in yourself, wife. I haven’t lost faith in you.”
“Why do you keep calling me wife?”
“Does it bother you because you know you haven’t earned it?”
“It bothers me because I do not want to be bound to you for the rest of my life. I didn’t become your wife believing that I would be.”
I could’ve told her that I was sorry, but what would that have meant? And was I even sorry if she brought Lightbringer into the world? If our rebellion finally ignited? We were hastening toward open rebellion now, anyway. There was no way around it. The queen hoped that Lightbringer would continue to fail, and so would the rebellion.
Shadowbane added in my mind,“Perhaps after your rebellion succeeds, I could sever our bond.”
My wings missed a beat. We dropped slightly in the air, and Cara’s arms tightened around my neck, her cheek pressing my shoulder urgently. I caught us, my wings catching an updraft.
There was no simple way to sever the bond between a dragon and a shifter. Shadowbane was offering to return to the Dreaming before his time.
“You would give up your time in this world?”
“I did not mean to betray Lightbringer by forcing her back into the world,”Shadowbane growled.“Perhaps you and I both have much for which to grovel.”
Shadowbane was part of me. When I had been alone for so long, his voice had become the only constant I trusted. The one friend who never left me.
I did not look at what else I would lose. Not here, with Cara in my arms and the wind tearing at us both.
“Perhaps,”I said to him, meaning no. But I knew his offer of sacrifice would haunt me.
We landed at the safe house. Cara went ahead of me, and I delayed by getting the report from my shifters who had been watching over her family and the Nightwalkers, thanking them for their service, asking after their needs. It was only when I could delay no longer that I followed her. She should have some privacy with her family.
When I stepped inside, Cara had Lidi on her hip. The girl was too big, and Cara listed to one side, but the two of them were so obviously grateful to be reunited. Lidi was already combing through Cara’s hair with her fingers, preparing to braid it and proclaiming over how pretty her hair had become, and Cara was enduring it.
