“You used my love for my family as a leash. You used that to control me just as much as the queen controlled me.” He wasn’t her creature. Hewasher.
Some emotion touched his face, there and gone too quickly to read. Probably not guilt. Probably irritation that I saw through his deceits. “Lying to you is a fairly small sin compared to burying a knife in my side.”
“I didn’t.”
“Only because you failed.” His voice was careless, dismissive. Another lie, though I wasn’t sure if this one was for my benefit or his.
“How dare you,” I spat. “You forced me to be your mate. You violated me, Fieran.”
He pulled back, hurt flashing across his face.
For a long moment, silence hung between us.
Fear’s lips were parted, his golden eyes hurt, and then his face shuttered. Whatever part of him had heard my accusation shuttered.
“No one can know what happened between us.” His voice was flat and calm. “For their sake, mortals and shifters need to unite behind the two of us. The Fae can only rule us because we’re divided. Knowing that you tried to kill me would ruin our chance to unite this kingdom against the queen.”
His gaze roamed over my face, the slightest sneer coming to his mouth. I had never seen his handsome face touched by ugliness. “Or would you prefer to serve the queen?”
“You know I would not,” I snarled.
“Then you will pretend to be my loyal, loving wife.” He took my hand in his and raised it to his lips in a mockery of a kiss, then paused, seeing the blood that still streaked my skin. “And I will pretend to love you.”
Those words curled through my lungs like smoke that could choke me. “You’ve been so good at pretending.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, mortal. You deceived me well. You should be able to sell the kingdom this lie.” He set my hand on the slab again, then rose and moved across the room.
I looked out at the door and thought about Tay and Lidi, safe somewhere because of him, because of his clan, because of the rebellion I had just tried to decapitate. My rage was still there; it wasn’t going anywhere, but it was sitting next to a cold, practical understanding. “What about my family?”
“Safe. And they’ll stay safe as long as we stay useful to each other.”
Useful. There it was. That was the word for what we were.
He returned with a basin of water and a cloth.
I narrowed my gaze at him. “Fine. Then we’re useful to each other. That’s all.”
“You can’t be seen like this.”
He wet the cloth and leaned over my body to cleanse my arms. His touch was careful. Not quite gentle, but careful. My skin goose-pimpled under his touch. I stared resolutely over his shoulder at the wall, trying to pay no attention to his eyes or to his face so near mine.
Then he took my hand in his and cleansed it, washing away the blood from my knuckles, between my fingers. If he thought that I had tried to cover my hands in his blood, he said nothing.
“You need to undress. You need clean clothes. This wound would be too hard to explain. We’ll imply you were bitten.”
“Turn your back.”
“I tried turning my back on you once.” His voice was harsh. “And you’re still too weak. Raise your arms.”
I shook my head, though it made my head ache worse. I made it to my elbows, then slowly managed to leverage myself to sitting. The world spun mercilessly, Fear’s cold face revolving in front of me, but I managed to get the tunic off.
He stayed back a moment as I struggled with my buckle, which had suddenly become a puzzle, and then he cursed and moved forward. Impatiently, he undid the buckle and my blood-soaked trousers.
Then he dressed me again in clean ones. I set my jaw and helped him as much as I could, despising myself and him in near-equal measure.
He cast a displeased look over me. “When you were wounded before, everyone saw me carry you to my bed before, to watch over you. So that’s what I’ll do.”
The thought of him touching me burned. But I couldn’t throw away our fragile alliance, not when the rebellion depended on it.
