“That it might turn into something permanent?” he finished for me.
“Yeah.”
“That happens sometimes, but it’s not the default outcome.” More gently, he added, “And for what it’s worth, you weren’t brought here as a courtesy placement. You earned the slot. Your references were strong. Your coursework lined up with what we needed. You did exactly what you were supposed to do while you were here.”
“It’s just…” I swallowed down the emotions threatening to well up. “Itismisleading. Especially to someone straight out of school, who moves across the globe thinking they’re going to start a life here.”
Mark didn’t argue with me. “I get that.”
That surprised me enough that I looked up at him.
“I’m sorry,” he continued. “I really am. But that’s how these placements work. They’re meant to open doors, not necessarily to keep you in the same building.”
It still didn’t feel good.
It felt like showing up somewhere with all your bags packed only to realize nobody else had expected you to stay the night.
“Okay,” I said after a moment.
Inside my chest, though, something still hurt in a way that wasn’t going to disappear just because the explanation made sense.
“There’s something else,” Mark said cautiously.
“What?”
“If you’re going to be working for Kelly,” he said, lowering his voice just a little, “I’d keep that quiet for now.”
“Why?”
He hesitated, then shrugged one shoulder. “Because donors hiring staff directly out from under institutions doesn’t sit well with people,” he said. “Especially when they’re already… involved.”
“Involved,” I repeated weakly.
“You know what I mean,” he sighed. “He’s not exactly subtle about how much influence he has around here.”
“I didn’t do anything,” I said quickly again, even though he hadn’t accused me.
“I’m not saying you did, but people talk. And if you want to leave on good terms, my advice is to keep it to yourself until you’re done here.”
“Okay…” I said quietly, nodding. “Thanks.”
The last thing I wanted was to leave this place with people thinking I’d done something wrong.
Mark gave a small nod back, already half-turning his attention toward whatever he’d been doing before I’d stopped him.
“No worries,” he said. “And, Cove?”
“Yeah?”
“Private aquarist is a hell of a first job out of school.”
Something about the way he said it made it sound like maybe—even if he didn’t understand it—he respected it a little.
That made me feel a little bit better about everything.
Still, it wasn’t enough to pacify the sadness in my heart, so I excused myself before my voice could do anything embarrassing.
I didn’t make it very far before I ducked into the nearest staff bathroom.
