"Ethan..." I try to say. My hands are on his face. He doesn't say anything. Just turns his head slightly, presses his lips against my palm, and then his hands are pushing down my pants. I grip the edge of the desk behind me because my legs are already threatening to give out, and he hasn't even done anything yet.
When he pulls me free, my cock is so hard, and his breath is warm against me, and I have to look up for a second because the sight of him down there, choosing to be on his knees for me… it's too much. My eyes burn, and I blink hard, jaw clenching. It's hard to swallow, and I'm so fucking turned on at the same time.
"Look at me," he says. Quietly. A command, but soft. The way he only ever is with me.
I look down. His eyes are locked on mine, and then he takes me into his mouth, and I swear to God, the sound that comes out of me isn't human. My hand shoots to his hair, fingers tangling in those reddish-brown strands, and I feel his grip tighten on my hips, steadying me, grounding me, the way he always does. He's on his knees but still commanding everything.
He's slow. Trying to draw every sound out of me. His tongue does things that make my vision blur, and I keep having to remind myself to breathe and not faint.
"Fuck..." I gasp, my head falling back. I start trying to think of anything else, or I'll cum right now. The desk creaks under my grip. The lights are too bright above us. Somewhere, muffled voices from the rec room bleed through the walls, a reminder of how dangerous this is, how reckless, how absolutely insane.
I don't care.
His hand slides up my thigh, thumb pressing into the crease of my hip, and I look down again. A mistake. Because seeing him like that, eyes half-closed, completely given over to me… I forget everything I know about life.
"Ethan, I..." My voice cracks. I tug gently at his hair, not to pull him off but because I need him to know. "You can't... you can't just..."
He pulls back just enough, lips swollen, breath ragged, and looks up at me. Fuuuuuuuuck.
"Can't what?"
"Kneel for me like that," I manage to whisper. "Like I'm worth you doing this."
Something shifts in his expression. His brow furrows, and for a second, he looks almost angry. The typical Ethan. We lock eyes.
"You're worth everything," he says. "Don't ever say that again."
Then his mouth is back on me, and this time he's relentless. Harder, faster, taking me deep.
"Fu-fu-fuuuuuck," I say. I stop trying to hold myself together. He usually never lets me cum like that, without telling him first, asking him first, but I can't help it now. I just let go. My fingers stay in his hair, my other hand grips the desk, and Icum so hard everything goes black and I almost faint.
He stays there for a moment after, forehead resting against my thigh, both of us breathing hard. I run my fingers through his hair, gentler now, and feel him lean into the touch.
"Get up," I whisper. "Please."
He rises slowly, and when he's standing again, towering over me the way he always does, I grab the front of his shirt and pull him in. I kiss him, tasting myself on his tongue, and I don't care. I just need him close.
"Promise me you'll come back," I say.
His arms tighten. "I promise."
"What if they say you don't need to come back, or if they send you somewhere else, or…?!"
"Baby. That won't happen. And even if it does, I'd find a way to get back to you," he says, and tears fall down my face.
We stay like that longer than we should. Long enough that the noise from the rec room starts dying down, which means lights-out is approaching and we need to be back in the dorm before anyone notices. But neither of us moves. His heartbeat is steady under my cheek, and for those few stolen minutes, the academy walls don't exist, the rules don't exist, only the two of us exist, and it’s all I ever want to exist.
Chapter 31. Liam
When the day comes and Jack's mom shows up to pick them up, as she's giving Ethan a ride, Ethan looks like he's off to visit a graveyard.
"I'll miss you," I tell him, hugging him. We're in our room, and I don't even care if Jack sees us. I'm close to actual tears.
"I'll be back soon. Be good," he says, and kisses the top of my head. Something he never does in public.
"Come on, sweetheart," Jack says to Ethan. Ethan rolls his eyes at the pet name, and I snort softly.
"Stay out of trouble, Liam," he repeats, serious at first, but then a soft smile breaks through. My heart does that stupid fluttery thing.
