I want to say something harsh, something to make him understand he shouldn't have taken the fall. But he looks so small. Hair flat, wet, dark against his head. I can't. I want to hug him instead. But I stop myself.
I get an extra towel and toss it to him. He catches it, eyes bright for a second. "Thanks," he says, and rubs his head.
By midnight, Jack is dead to the world. Harry too. Miles' breathing is slow, steady, might be gone. But I know Liam is as awake as me.
I lose the battle with myself. I get up. His eyes are open. He watches me approach but doesn't say anything.
"Move over," I whisper, before my brain can talk me out of it.
He shifts toward the wall. I sit on the cold edge of his mattress. He sits up. There's nothing to say that isn't so embarrassing I'll puke, but I make myself try.
"Thank you," I say. "I should have watched the clock. And I'm sorry about before."
He looks up at me. I can't see his face properly, shadows and angles in the half-dark, but I can see the smile. "You don't have to."
"I know. But I'm saying it anyway. You're too good."
He grins. It makes my chest hurt. We sit in silence, and after a minute, he shifts so our knees touch. Could be an accident. I don't move away.
"I was scared you'd be mad," he says.
I shake my head. "I was livid. But not at you. Well, for a second, at you. But mostly at myself. I just don't like seeing you get hurt." The words come out wrong. Too much in them. But Ican't take them back.
Liam looks at me in this soft, serious way. "You're not supposed to care about me," he says.
"Says who?" Sharper than I mean. "Why wouldn't I? I've cared about you since the first time I laid eyes on you."
"Because I'm a disaster. I ruin everything."
"That's not true." I'm angry that he'd think that. He's so close. We're pressed together at the hip, and it isn't an accident anymore. I should get up. I should. "You don't ruin things. Don't say that ever again," I say, and then I reach up and brush his hair back from his face. Like a fucking idiot.
He lets me.
He's watching my lips. I notice. I can't breathe.
"Are you gonna kiss me or just stare at my mouth?" he whispers.
My body wants to. My brain screams: Don't fuck up. Don't ruin this.
Don't cross the line. Don't be like Shadow.
I don't move. He leans in the tiniest bit. I almost follow. I can't.
He laughs. "You're such a chicken," he says, but he's not mad. "It's okay. I'm not going anywhere. We're literally locked up here. Take your time." He settles back on the pillow, eyes fluttering shut, the biggest smile on his face.
I sit there for a minute. Then I go back to my own bed, heart hammering, and I don't even try to sleep.
Chapter 17. Ethan
I'm destroying my muscles at the gym. The more it hurts, the more I push. I only stop when my arms give out and I can't physically continue.
Griff scolded me this morning. I couldn't care less. He didn't give me any punishment, even though I was the one who had the idea to sneak out. It was my plan, my roof, my clock I didn't watch.
But it's not Griff's lecture that's eating me alive.
It's Liam. Stepping forward. Claiming responsibility. Taking the punishment that should have been mine. That image won't leave. I close my eyes, and it gets worse, his face, wet hair plastered to his forehead after that cold shower, still managing to smile at me like what he did was nothing. After we fought. After everything I said to him.
No one has ever done anything like that for me. Not remotely.
