I move before thinking, grabbing the front of his shirt and pushing him against the wall. Not hard. But enough.
"Shut up."
"What are you going to do, Ethan?" His voice drops, but I hear the tremor in it. He's scared. He's also not backing down. "Hit me? Prove me right?"
I release him. Step back. My hands are shaking.
"Fuck you, Liam."
The door flies open. Bill, shocked. "What the hell is going on in here?"
We freeze.
"Nothing," I say. "Just a disagreement."
"Some disagreement." Bill looks between us. "The whole floor can hear you."
Liam steps back.
"Sorry, sir. Won't happen again," I say.
Bill assesses us. "Ethan, take a walk. Cool off. Marsal, back to bed."
I nod and move toward the door.
The hallway is dim. I walk without direction, trying to slow my breathing.
The next day. Going to my office. There they are again. Seth and Shadow. Right outside Shadow's office.
Too close. Shadow says something I can't hear. Seth laughs, tilting his head back. Shadow's hand rests on Seth's cheek, thumb brushing near his lip. His mouth too close to Seth's ear.
Shadow turns. Our eyes meet. A flash of recognition, then alarm. His hand drops. Seth follows his gaze, spots me. His expression hardens.
I look away and keep walking. No need to say anything. They know what I saw.
I round the corner and press my forehead against the cool cinder block wall. Eyes closed. I think of Liam in the bathroom, pale and shaking. The feel of his pulse under my fingers when I bandaged his burn. The way he laughed in the rain, face tiltedto the sky.
I'm so angry at him. He's still all I think about.
Am I any better than Shadow?
I nearly collide with Griff coming around the next corner. He looks at me with suspicion.
"Everything alright, Ethan?"
"Just tired, sir. Long day."
He studies me, unconvinced. "If you need to talk, you know where I am."
"Yes, sir."
But I can't. Can't talk to him, can't talk to anyone. Never could.
I'm not like Shadow, I tell myself. Liam and I aren't even speaking.
But the truth is, I want to be.
Chapter 16. Ethan
