"Do you have any idea what happens if they find that during inspection? I lose my position. You go to the hole. Everyone's privileges get revoked."
"Sounds like a you problem," he says, but his breathing is fast. Good, he's at least a little scared, but his voice is the same. "Maybe you should be less invested in playing leader. I know the power trip gets you off."
My free hand slams the wall beside his head. Not hitting him, but close enough that he flinches. I feel my control slipping. Harry has always known how to make everything I've worked for seem pathetic. Liam gets under my skin too, but it's different. Liam doesn't mean harm. Harry does.
I see him struggling for breath. I ease back, suddenly conscious of how this would look to anyone walking by.
"Empty your pockets. Now."
"Search warrant, Officer?"
My jaw clenches. "Fine. We do this officially. I call Griff, they strip-search you and our room, find whatever else you're hiding. That your preference? Don't tempt me."
Concern flashes across his face. Then it's gone. He's smart.
"Dunno what you're talking about, Mr. Leader. Nothing in my pockets." He turns them inside out. Empty. "Amazing how things disappear, isn't it? Maybe they were never there. Maybeyou're being an asshole for no reason. You usually are."
I scan the ground, the bushes. Nothing. He ditched it the moment I looked away to dismiss the other kids.
"I'm watching you. You so much as look like you're dealing, and I'll personally ensure you spend the rest of your time here in solitary. Stop ruining your fucking life."
"Bold threat from someone who can't even prove what he saw." He smirks. "But don't worry, I understand. You've got a lot riding on this supervisor gig. Must be nice to finally have people look at you with something other than disappointment."
My parents' faces flash through my mind. The kitchen. My mother's hand shaking around the gun, my father's face twisted into panic. The way they both looked at me after, like I was the problem. Like I'd always been the problem. The gun pointing at me.
I shake it off. Won't give Harry what he wants. I press my arm harder on his neck until he coughs, then let go. He grabs his throat, swallowing hard, but still looks at me with that defiant look.
"You have no idea what you're playing with," I say, voice dropping. "You're putting all of us at risk."
"Touching." Harry steps away from the wall, more confident now that I'm not restraining him. "But we both know you won't report this." He starts walking past me, then pauses. "Besides, some of your fellow supervisors are my best customers. Might want to clean your own house first." He winks.
I watch him walk away. My hands are shaking. The worst part is he's right.
Deep breaths. Two confrontations in one day, and dinner's still coming.
The cafeteria is full. Fifty-seven residents roaring with talk and laughter. I roll my shoulders, force myself to relax. Can't bring this energy in here. Can't let Harry get to me.
I scan the room. Find Liam.
He's doing it again. Pushing food around without eating any of it.
Not today.
I move through the room. He doesn't look up, too focused on his fork. Mashed potatoes pushed into perfect rows, then flattened, rebuilt. Anything but lifted to his mouth.
I first notice it his first week. Skips breakfast, then lunch. Eats something at dinner. Next day, same thing, then, skips even dinner. Then starts eating again, normally, until it starts over the following week. Eating disorder is all over his file. Two hospitalizations.
Not on my watch. I don't care if every adult in his life has failed him before. He won't pull this shit while I'm responsible for him.
"Mind if I join you?" I don't wait for an answer before sitting beside him. His fork pauses, shoulders tensing. Still staring at the potatoes.
"Sure. Free country."
"Is it? Seems like we both missed that memo."
He laughs. That stupid smile. Something loosens in my chest, but it won't get him off the hook.
"You planning on eating that or just rearranging it?" I keep my voice even. Can't let him see how much it gets to me when he doesn't eat.
