And then they were off on another tangent and by the time his stomach started rumbling again, Parker had dozed off in one of the comfortable chairs. Laurel made them all dinner and then sent them home.
“I’m not doing this at night,” she said firmly.
“I’m not sure if we’re still under a time crunch since we got rid of the parasite in Gile, but I don’t want to take the chance.” Nick frowned down at his hands, clenching them together. “Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” Laurel agreed. She hugged both of them tightly and waved as Parker drove off.
At home, Nick went upstairs right away, his body feeling empty and hollow. He waved off Parker’s concern and barely was able to change before he fell into bed. Once there, he slept, expecting to be too tired to dream.
He was wrong.
CHAPTER TWENTY
In his dream,Nick was walking through a forest he recognized and didn’t. He was himself and he wasn’t.
He knew the feeling and tried to turn, tried to run, but he couldn’t. His legs moved, his head wouldn’t turn, he couldn’t breathe, except his chest was rising and falling and he did nothing. He could do nothing. He was trapped.
“No,” Nick tried to say, but smoke curled out of his mouth instead of words. He kept walking until he saw a single burned tree in the middle of the forest. It was old. Its bark was charred, and Nick knew who the tree was.
Darkness. Shadows jumped in the corners of his eyes, and Nick’s heart pounded, his mouth clenched so tightly that he had nothing, he was muted as though his tongue had been cut out.
Nick tried to scream again, but the smoke that came out of his mouth flowed impossibly down, spreading around the exposed roots of the tree that was Darkness and reforming into a humanoid shape that was a person and a tree and Nick screamed because he knew who it was, he knew, he knew?—
“Nick!” Parker’s voice was loud, a shout that left Nick’s ears ringing. Parker was crouching over him, both hands on Nick’sshoulders. His eyes were sparking gold in the darkness, and around them Nick could feel a curl of magic like a physical thing.
“Nick!” Parker said, more quietly but with the same desperation. “Are you with me?”
Nick nodded, coughing. He gasped, turning onto his side and coughing as though the smoke had been real and he’d inhaled a forest fire. Parker leaned against Nick’s back, rubbing a circle between Nick’s shoulders. He didn’t reach out, but the bedside light snapped on, and Nick kept coughing until he gasped in a desperate breath.
“You here?” Parker asked.
“Yeah,” Nick croaked. He was looking over the side of the bed, into the dark shadows of the bedroom. “I had a dream about Darkness.”
Parker’s hand froze on Nick’s back and he didn’t say anything.
“I dreamed I was in a burned forest. Like the one you saw, I guess. But it was night and this smoke kept coming out of me. It wasn’t like Darkness but itwas. The smoke made a new tree.” Nick could still see the impossible shape, tree and human at the same time.
“Darkness and Sun are dead,” Parker said, his voice gentle.
“I know, I know.” Nick closed his eyes, but that was too close and he swallowed before sitting up. “I know.”
“Okay,” Parker said. “Was it just a nightmare, or do you think it had something to do with what’s going on?”
Nick shrugged, the movement uncomfortable. “I don’t know. Being called god killer? It must have just reminded me of what happened.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Parker said firmly. He squeezed Nick’s shoulder, tugging Nick over. “Do you hear me?”
Nick rolled and looked at his husband. He tried to smile, but knew it felt wrong. “I know. But what we did with Gile? That felt like the sort of choice Darkness would make. A gray choice.”
“No.” Parker shook his head, then grabbed the back of Nick’s neck tight, bringing their foreheads together. “No, you listen to me. That was anuschoice. You didn’t make it alone. We made it together.”
“I know,” Nick managed. “I know.”
“Okay, good.” Parker leaned against Nick, his whole weight pressing Nick into the mattress, grounding him. “Darkness and Sun are gone. You and me? We aren’t. We’re here.”
Nick lifted his arms, wrapping them around Parker so tight that he wasn’t sure how Parker was breathing. “Yeah.”
“Good,” Parker said. “Good.”
