“I can protect you,” I said firmly, my eyes fixed on hers. Olesia had always been the baby of the family and despite there now only being two of us she still was in many ways.
After Averan’s death, I had made sure she wanted for nothing. She was twenty now, old enough to understand her place in the world, old enough to know better than to keep pushing me.
Yet something in the way she looked at me, as if I was still the big brother who could put her on his shoulders and play make believe to chase away the monsters under her bed, hurt me more than anything.
“If you keep pushing me away you will end up alone,” she cursed anger filtering into her tone mixing with her frustration. Part of me had even expected her to stamp her foot.
Instead, she stood there perfectly still and composed, reason lingering in her words, but I was not ready. I doubted I ever would be. This was too much too soon, too dangerous. I would keep her safe.I needed to keep her safe.
“I will not risk you, you are not ready and I will not lose the only sibling I have left,” I ground out, my irritation rising. She didn't understand, no one would. She had not found our brother's body, she didn't hold him limp and lifeless in her arms.
The images of my brother once again grew in my mind, blinding me to anything else. It was torture, pure and painful torture I would never escape from. My hands flew to my head, pressing into my temples as I attempted to push back the images, the smell of his blood and the way he felt in my arms.
“And that brother, is exactly the reason that you will end up alone.” Olesia whispered with one final sigh, turning and walking through the broken room and closing the door behind her.
I was alone once more and I felt my knees grow weak as I slid to the floor, my back pressed against the wall as I sat amongst the destruction I had created.
In my moment of true weakness, Elara’s face joined the images circling my mind. Her defiance, even when she should have been afraid of me, and how that day she had run from the hall without a second glance. Everything about the human had been a distraction since I had gotten her from that fucking market.
I clenched my jaw. Deep down I hated that her presence somehow managed to cut through the numbness I had spent years perfecting.
My thoughts wandered to the way she had stood in the main hall at Lycanthyr. The way she had walked towards me, despite the monsters around her.What concerned me more was the way she felt sat in my lap, the performance she had put on, pressing against me as she let my hands move freely.
I let a curse fall from my lips as the raging hard on in my pants, contrasted with every other emotion I was feeling. The piercing I had got as a rebellious teenager digging into my pants, causing the most delicious pain. Quickly I tried to think of anything else. I did not need to be hard over a woman that was merely a necessary means to an end. That was the whole reason I had given her pleasure but not taken any for myself. If I allowed that, I would turn soft and I could not afford softness.
Slowly I stood, taking a deep breath as I straightened, forcing the shadows into stillness, trying to get my breathing under control. I knew the vampires would come again and when they did, I would need to be ready, alliances or not. Even if it meant hardening my heart to burn everything to the ground.
Including her. Especially her.
Chapter Fifteen
I woke to pale light filtering through the curtains, the air smelt off, almost like someone had been cleaning in the middle of the night. The rustling to my left told me Penny was already in my room quiet as a shadow, laying out clothes and preparing for my day.
It amazed me at that moment how comfortable I had become in her presence, I did not question her being in my room without knocking while I slept so vulnerably. It was odd, for the first time in years I slept without nightmares, without screaming.
In the back of my mind, it bothered me, how comfortable I was becoming in the King's palace, if everything went well in a few years, I would no longer be here. I would be free to do as I wanted, live where I wanted. However, the thought of that had begun to bother me more than being kept as a slave.
I sat up slowly, the memory of the thundering noises the night before pressing at my thoughts, but I refused to let them in. It had been the first time I had done what he had asked without argument, Something I would notdo again too soon, but I knew there was nothing I could have done last night to make any difference. At my core I was defiant, but I wasn't stupid.
The gown Penny had chosen was practical by court standards, deep charcoal, fitted through the bodice with long sleeves that fell down past my wrists.
It felt more like armour than silk, stiff and unbending. Leading me to sit at the mirror, she braided my hair in silence, creating two symmetrical braids either side of my head, using the top half of my hair, before tying them at the back joining the rest of the loose ordinary brown, strands.
My burn scar itched as the hair fell over it, but I didn't complain, I just swatted at them until they no longer bothered me.
“King Rhael has sent two guards to collect you this morning,” Penny whispered as she smoothed out the strands, her hands lingering on my shoulders.
As soon as they touched my skin I stiffened. It wasn't the touch that bothered me, it was the way she looked at me through the mirror. Her eyes were tired, but mainly, full of concern.
In the time that I had known Penny not once had she seemed worried for my wellbeing, and something inside my chest made me believe something dramatic must have happened to change that.
The two guards did not speak as they escorted me through the palace corridors. Their boots echoed in perfect rhythm, a reminder of the organised perfection that was littered amongst the Fae Court.
I did not say a word, the tightening in my chest increasing with every step. I wanted to speak, to ask what had happened, but I knew they would not answer me so instead I focused on my breathing, keeping oxygen steadily pouring into my lungs.
Rhael’s office door opened as we approached another guard opening it from the inside, stepping out to close it behind me as I stepped inside the room alone.
The desk before me stood upright, though a hairline crack ran through its surface and some of the floor was crowded by piles of thin shards of glass.
