“I get that, but it still hurt to not know any of that, to be discarded so flippantly.” Christopher lowers his face to look at the bottle.
“I didn’t have my phone the whole time. Paul had taken it away. And as soon as I got it back, you were the first person I called.” I reach out, lifting his chin upward to face me. “I even left you a voicemail. But you never responded to that, or to any of my calls. So I just assumed you wanted nothing to do with me.”
“I was hurt and angry.” His pupils dilate.
I can feel the last of the heartstrings tying us together fraying. I start panicking as I run out of options for how to handle this. I need to do something, anything, to stop this from heading in the wrong direction.
“Let me make it up to you.” I grab each of his arms, taken momentarily aback by the size of them. “Oh, wow! Someone’s been working out.”
“I’ve been working on my fitness.” He fights back a smile.
I run my hands from his biceps down to the bottom of his polo shirt, lifting it up to reveal a six-pack.
“Damn, I guess your sister won’t be calling you pigeon belly anymore.” I slide my hand further down, over his jeans, and feel his cock stiffen.
“Stop.” Christopher yanks my hand away. “Just stop.”
His words are a blow straight to my chest.
My heart is broken by the ice in his tone, even though I know it masks his true hurt.
My vision blurs.
“Are you telling me there’s no way back for us? From this?” A tear starts to flow down my cheek.
Christopher stares at me with an odd intensity.
His jaw clenches, like he’s fighting back what he really wants to say.
“You can’t just expect me to forgive and forget in one five-minute conver?—”
Banging on the door interrupts Christopher mid-sentence.
“Not now!” Anger comes up in my throat as Rob opens the door.
“We need to leave.” Rob ignores me and grabs my bag.
“We haven’t finished,” I say and try to grab the bag off him.
“He can join us, but we need to leave.” Rob snaps the bag from my grip with one yank.
The room fills with a silent tension as Rob stares at me. Christopher’s gaze drifts between Rob and me. There’s so much still left to say, and I don’t want to leave things between us as they are.
“Come with us, so we can finish this conversation? I promise that whatever you decide, I’ll respect your decision.” I hedge my bets in the hope it buys me more time, that it will give me more of a chance to fix things between us.
After an awkward pause, Christopher finally nods. Not at me, though, but at Rob.
10.Christopher
Sunday
The prolonged delay as Rob struggles to open the door of Alexander’s hotel suite does nothing to stop the swirling mix of fear and guilt rising in my chest. My nails dig into my palms.
It’s the right thing to do.
It’s the right thing to do.
Alexander rolls his eyes at Rob’s ineptitude as I force two deep exhales out of my chest, slowing my heart rate and frustration.
