I push him away slightly, working my way through the tables to get to the marker on the floor before looking back.
“Dance with me,” I say, my hands held out.
Brian momentarily hesitates, so convincingly that I begin to lose myself in the scene. Then he grabs my waist, pulling me in to rest my head on his shoulder. Our bodies slowly start to move round the dance floor.
The cameras, crew, and lighting all disappear as I soak it in. Ilose myself in the memory of this very moment with Christopher,Heroby Enrique Iglesias playing in my head.
What I’d give to have this moment with him once more.
I lift my head off Brian’s shoulder, meeting his lips as he turns his head toward me. The minty freshness of his mouth collides with the bittersweet taste of mine. Our Hollywood kiss is void of any passion, making my heart pine for Christopher even more.
I count to four in my head before freeing myself and stumbling back slightly.
“Are you okay?” he asks. Both of us look down to see my left bootlace undone.
I bend down slowly, tying up my lace, and then reach for the gun strapped to my ankle. My heart begins to beat rapidly as I pull it from the holster and thrust up, hitting Brian with such force that he gags when the muzzle of the gun meets the top of his throat. He grabs his throat, choking, then drops to his knees.
“Cut! Cut!” Alfonso shouts.
“Medic to set,” I hear the first assistant director say.
My body is frozen stiff.
The gun falls out of my hand onto the floor.
What have I done?
2.Christopher
Friday
Imake my way through the bustling crowd in the airport to the arrivals screen and scan it to see my sister’s flight from Honolulu has landed. Directly underneath, a flight from Heathrow is listed, instantly filling my stomach with dread.
It was the flight that changed everything. I close my eyes to suppress memories of the fallout from the leaked video of me and Alexander kissing. His publicist, Connie, making me sign the NDA to never discuss our relationship. The money that appeared in my bank account to pay me off for that silence. My whole world falling apart, while Alexander’s seemed to keep going from strength to strength. And he's been inescapable.
His music is continually played on the radio.
His face is plastered all over the magazines and billboards across LA.
His movie is underway in New Mexico.
I barely leave my room on the days that work and the gym don’t force me out of it. Andrew has grown concerned that I no longer join him and his latest boyfriend, Liam, on the couch to watch TV.
Their relationship is too painful a reminder of what I’ve lost.
But I can’t tell him the reason why.
Nor the fact that there’s a hundred thousand dollars sitting in my bank account.
Or that since Alexander’s TV interview back in June, he has repeatedly tried to call me. Each time I see his name appear on my phone, it slices my heart back open, leaving me in a state of analysis paralysis and preventing me from being able to move forward and heal.
If the last two months have taught me anything, it’s that we are all entitled to our secrets. But that doesn’t mean Alexander has the right to treat me the way he did and then expect me to come running back because he changed his mind.
Maybe a taste of his own medicine will do him good.
I squeeze tightly on one of the stress balls in my pocket. My therapist gave me one two months ago to deal with all the stress and they have become lifesavers. I shake my head of the thought of Alexander, and then I see Kelly entering the arrival hall, followed by her husband, Daniel. She comes running toward me.
“It’s so good to see you!” Kelly says. Her vice-like grip around my neck quickly starts squeezing the life out of me. Daniel gives us a moment of space while the other passengers push their luggage trolleys past him.
