By the time they were seated at the breakfast bar with their tea in front of them, Skylar was well and truly nervous. This had “clearing the air” written all over it. She wastryingtobe a more direct person, but she was a getter-alonger. A pleaser. It was never going to feel good to wait for somebody more direct to tell you exactly how they felt, and to figure out how to respond.
“It looks to me,” Maureen began, “like you feel you’re here to stay. But I’m not sure of that, of course.”
“Uh …” Skylar said. “If you mean with Zane, then yes. Notherehere, at the house, but in this, uh, relationship? Yes. That’s the … the idea.” She wanted to say,How do I know whether I’m here to stay? I don’t have a crystal ball!But it would have sounded so abrasive.
“Then I’d say you should join the whanau for those dinners,” Maureen said. “As I’m pretty sure Zane will say so, too.”
“And you don’t mind.” She was just going to ask it. Why not? She wasn’t a fragile blossom who’d break into tiny pieces if everybody didn’t love her, right?
“Zane seems happy,” Maureen said. “The kids, too. And don’t I want my mokopuna to be happy? What about you, then? Areyouhappy?”
“Who, me?” Skylar was confused.
“Yes, you. How happy are you, going along like this? How happy are you if this is how it stays? He’s a cautious man. He’s not likely to move in a hurry. Are you willing to wait? Or are you going to break his heart? That’s what would worry me, if I let myself worry. And possibly that Geoffrey and I will have to move back in for good, just when we’re having a bit of leisure and enjoying ourselves. But there’s no sense in worrying about things that may never happen, so I reckon we’ll just bang on as we are and trust that the future will sort itself, one way or the other. It generally does.”
“So you’re not laying any bets.” As a joke, it was pretty feeble, but what was she meant to say?
“No,” Maureen said. “But then, I’m not a betting woman.”
Which wasn’t exactly satisfactory, was it? It was also something she couldn’t possibly discuss with Zane, as it was sure to come across as, ‘Your grandmother may hate me.’ Anyway, you couldn’t rush life, you couldn’t rush men, and you definitely couldn’t rush relationships.
Pity real life wasn’t more like books.
At lunch the next Monday, Jess said, “You’re looking less peaky, anyway. I’ve never seen anyone come back from holiday—let alone an ultra-glam holiday in Fiji—looking so white and tired. Shagging all day and night, were you? But now he’s off with the team, so I guess you’re getting your rest again. Until tomorrow, of course. If you’re dragging again on Wednesday, I’ll know why.”
Obviously, Skylar hadn’t told Jess about the pregnancy. It was one of those things, maybe, that was harder to share with somebody who wasn’t a mum herself. Or maybe it was just that she’d been afraid she’d cry. She and Zane had told George and Georgia that it was “a private thing,” and not to share, and so far, they seemed to have managed. Possibly because it wasn’t nearly as interesting as the new guinea pig in their classroom.
“You’re right,” she answered Jess, “it was a bit tiring.Notbecause of all the sex, though that was lovely. You can’t actually be shagging left, right, and center with six kids in the house. How was your own weekend?”
“Dull,” Jess said. “Which is why I rang you up about that drink. Only to find that you had all Zane’s kidsandyour own.Again.Bang maid much?”
“I’m not a bang maid!” Again, a little loudly, and yes, Stacey looked around and smirked a bit, but really? “I’m there because I enjoy it,” she said more quietly. “And I invited youover for a glass of wine, remember? You’re the one who didn’t want to come. What is it with everybody? I just had the most uncomfortable conversation with Maureen, too. Doesn’t anybody believe in Zane? Why not? The man is amazing. He’s— Well, he’s amazing, that’s all.”
“Whatconversation with Maureen?” Jess asked. “His grandmother? The whanau’s having second thoughts, too? Tell.”
“She probably thinks I can’t hang onto him,” Skylar said. “And really? It was hard enough for me to have confidence in the first place, and now you’re making melessconfident? OK, here’s what she said. You decipher it.”
She was probably hoping for Jess to say, “No, she clearly loves you and is hoping you’ll stick.” Instead, her friend said, at the end of her recital, “Huh. So youwantto take on even more work over there, and shove his grandmother out? Sky—realize how that looks. Time to stand up for yourself, not bend over backward again to please a man. This is playing house, pure and simple. Are youtryingto make the same mistakes over again?”
“I’m not taking on more work,” Skylar said, possibly heatedly. “It’slesswork, because the kids are doing so much. They have it all written up, with assignments and names and times. And do you know why? Because Zane worked it out with them, that’s why. He has his own chores on there, too, even as little as he’s around! In fact, he reminded me last night that he’ll be home tomorrow to do them. That’s what he said when I talked to him the morning after they won the Bledisloe Cup, and if that doesn’t prove he’s thinking of me and … and looking out for me, then I don’t know what does.” She didn’t get heated. She was a cheerful person! But here she was, getting heated anyway. “Here.” She pulled out her phone and found the photo. “This is his list. He got the kids on side so easily, too. Talked to Finlay and Scarlett first, and made them co-captains in the effort. He must be a rugby skipper, eh.”
Jess looked at the photo. Then she looked at it again.“Everything’son here, though,” she said slowly. She put the phone down and gazed at Skylar. Searchingly, you’d call that. “Wait. You aren’t peaky. You’reill.Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I’m not,” Skylar said. “Honestly, you’re as bad as Finlay. I don’t have cancer, and I don’t have any other dread disease, either. I was … well, a bit under the weather. For a while. I’m much better now, but Zane’s still?—”
Jess had a finger out and was pointing it. “He gave you an STI. Iknewit.”
“He did not give me an STI!” This time, she kept her voice down.
“How do you know? Have you been tested? Youthinkyou’ve got flu, when actually?—”
“I was pregnant, all right?” And there she went, blurting it out. Well, she hadn’t been made for secrets. She’d never be Maureen, with her reserve and her dignity. She was a Golden Retriever of a woman, practically wagging her tail with her tongue out in her eagerness for connection, but at least she knew it. That’s why she taught Year One! “I had an ectopic pregnancy, from that first time when we—from after the earthquake. We found out in Fiji when I got ill. I went to hospital by ambulance, had emergency surgery, and spent the last day of our holiday there, and Zane spent it with me. And he was wonderful. He’sbeenwonderful. He’s been so— And I—” She stopped, because, yes, she’d choked up.
“And you didn’t tell me?” Jess asked. “Why not? When you’d been that ill? I would’ve come, once you were home again. But you didn’t eventellme. Your best friend!”
“I’m sorry,” Skylar said. “It’s felt too … too personal. Hard to talk about. Please don’t share. I mean with anybody.”
“Of course,” Jess said a little stiffly. “You should know Iwon’t. I reckon you’re happy, though, in one way. You both must be. That you didn’t have to deal with it.”
