I flinch.
Then he takes a step toward me.
No.
If he touches me again, I’ll cave. I’ll let him do whatever he wants and hate myself for it.
“Don’t touch me,” I whisper.
He freezes. Like the words actually wound him.
“Blair…”
“Would you choose me?” My voice is shaking, breaking. “Right now, would you choose me?”
I know I sound pathetic. I sound like some sad, desperate version of Meredith Grey, begging for scraps of love. But I don’t care. Because I love this man. I love him so much it’s eating me alive. Even if it makes me the worst sister in the world, even if it brands me forever with a scarlet fucking A, I’d wear it for him.
If he just… chose me.
His jaw clenches. “Blair, things aren’t that simple.”
“Right,” I whisper, nodding as the tears start to fall faster. “Of course they’re not.”
I didn’t even know I could cry like this. My body shakes with the weight of it, grief pouring out of me like it’s been waiting for a reason.
I smooth down my dress with shaky hands, trying to reclaim even an ounce of dignity. Then I turn.
“Blair, please don’t leave.” His voice cracks. “Not like this. Fuck, baby, I get it. I understand. Just… let me fix this. Please. Give me time, and I’ll fix it.”
But it’s the begging in his voice that breaks me all over again, because I know the truth now. Me leaving… is the only right thing I’ve done since I met him.
I look over my shoulder, barely able to hold his gaze. “That’s the thing, Calvin, you don’t understand.”
He freezes.
“You’re not the one betraying your sister. I am. I’m the one who smiles in her face every day. Who helps her pick flowers. Who zips up her dress and tells her she looks beautiful while I’m sneaking around behind her back with the oneperson she trusts most.”
My throat burns as I speak, but I don’t stop. I can’t.
“I’m the one who has to wake up every morning and look in the mirror and not recognize the girl staring back at me. And I hate her. I hate the way she lies. The way she lets herself be touched by a man who’ll never be hers. The way she’s hurting someone she loves without even knowing how to stop.”
His eyes shine, lips parted like he wants to say something. But for once, he doesn’t.
“So no,” I say softly. “I can’t stay. I won’t.”
I look at him one last time, memorize the pain in his eyes, the desperation, the love that wasn’t enough.
“We’re over.”
And then I walk out.
The next day, I can’t bring myself to leave my bed. Not to eat, not for anything. I just lie there, crying endlessly. I wish I could sleep, but even that escape feels impossible. I love Calvin with everything I have, every piece of my heart belongs to him. But we can’t keep doing this. The sneaking around, the lying, the cheating… It’s tearing me apart, bit by bit.
Abigail came in my room in the morning, offering me Tylenol and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because I pretended to be sick; it’s easier than to sayhey, I’m sad because I’ve been having an affair with your fiancé, and I have stupidly fallen in love with him, but he chose you.I know I’m pathetic, but I never meant to hurt you. I love you. Sisters?Yeah, no.
I glance at my phone, a small knot forming in my chest as I see the flurry of notifications. A few are from the Swoon Squad, buzzing about which book we should dive into first. But the others are from Calvin.
Without opening his messages, I swipe them away, deleting every single one with trembling fingers. I can’t bear to read them, Not when I know they’ll undo me. But even as I exhale shakily, my thumb hesitates over the power button. I can’t shut my phone off, no matter how much I want to. It’s a cruel limbo, caught between needing space and craving the words I refuse to let myself see.
