No one knew that Reagan Trevino was the main reason I had held on.Without knowing, I had fallen in love with that girl.Even back then.
Only she’d never been mine to have, and spending the past decade watching as she grew up, her life entwined with that son of a bitch had been too much to bear.Ultimately, I'd tried to repair myself with various women.It had never worked.
And now Reagan was right there in my bed.
Only she wasn’t mine for the taking now, either.
“Lynx?”
“What, darlin’?”I asked, not moving from my spot at the door.
“You okay?”
“Perfect,” I answered.
She rolled over, clutching the pillow.“Would you … maybe … hold me for a little while?”
“Sure.”I wasn’t sure that was the best idea in the world, but it wasn’t like I would tell her no, so trying to pretend otherwise was just a waste of time.
I walked around to the far side of the bed and climbed on top of the quilt.I was still fully dressed, except for my boots, and I was grateful for that.Even with the blanket between us, I wasn’t sure it would be enough.
Reagan rolled toward me and I froze.She quickly pushed the comforter down to her waist and snuggled up to my side, her hand resting on my chest, her head pressed against my shoulder.I took a deep breath and closed my arm around her.She smelled like my shampoo from when she’d taken a shower earlier.I remembered standing in the kitchen, as far from the bathroom as I could possibly get and still be inside the house, not wanting to hear the shower run, not wanting to think about Reagan naked in my bathroom, the water sliding down her smooth, perfect…
Yeah.Still not helping to think about it.
“About yesterday mornin’,” she whispered softly, pulling me back from the brink.
“Don’t,” I warned, keeping my tone as gentle as I could.
“I’m sorry.”
“Reagan.”
“I never meant to hurt you,” she continued as though I hadn’t said a word.
Rather than lie and tell her she hadn’t hurt me, I kept my mouth shut and stared up at the ceiling.“Go to sleep.”
She sighed, moving closer to me.“It’s true, Lynx.I never meant?—”
“Not tonight,” I said roughly.“We’ll talk about it … later.”
She sighed again and I waited for her rebuttal.
Thankfully, it never came.
My entire body had gone rock hard the instant she touched me.I should’ve stayed in the living room or gone to sleep in the guest room like I'd originally told her I would when I insisted that she take my king bed.
Instead, I was lying here with Reagan beside me, her body so fucking soft against me, her hair teasing my chin where it caught in the stubble on my jaw.And my dick was throbbing, making my damn jeans ridiculously uncomfortable.
Yet this was enough for me.Having Reagan here, knowing she was safe.
It was enough.
A few minutes passed before her breathing evened out.I knew sleep would be a long time coming for me.I'd been asleep when Rhys called, so I was good to go for a while.Plus, I was too fucking scared to close my eyes.I didn’t want to drift off, to dream about what had happened, for my stupid subconscious to come up with an alternate ending.
So, for now, I would hold Reagan, pretend that this was my life, that I had the pleasure of holding her every night when we went to sleep, to wake up to her beside me every morning.
After all, it wasn’t a far cry from the fantasies I'd had for the past decade.
