Not by a long shot, Kaj thought, but kept his mouth shut. No matter how often he told Mirakel as much, the male never seemed to take it to heart. As strong and powerful as Mirakel was, there was a vulnerability to him. It was due to his need to prove his worth to those he considered his superior. Which, to Mirakel, was everyone he encountered. His view of himself was not the same as those who cared for him, but they’d long ago learned that dealing with Mirakel required patience and extreme care.
“Talk to me,” Kaj urged.
It was obvious something was bothering him, and Kaj wanted to get to the bottom of it. For the past couple of weeks, he’d noticed the tension in Mirakel’s shoulders, as though he was bearing a weight he wasn’t strong enough to carry. Which was saying something considering the amount of weight he was capable of lifting.
“I have failed you,” he repeated, his voice quivering with what was either anger or disappointment, Kaj wasn’t sure.
“What makes you think that?”
“I didn’t mean for it to happen,phaal. But I could’ve handled it better.”
Okay, so now he was starting to worry.
“I have imprinted upon the female,” Mirakel said softly. “Full-onmielix zan.”
Only because he respected the seriousness in Mirakel’s tone did Kaj keep a straight face. What he wanted to do was congratulate the male, but he suspected that wasn’t what the moment warranted. Suspecting he already knew the answer, he asked anyway. “Which female?”
“Briony. The Fae I’ve been feeding from.”
Maybe congratulations weren’t in order. It was one thing for a vampire to find his equal within the race. Something else entirely for a cross-species mating. Not that there was anything wrong with it, aside from the fact the Fae were, for all intents and purposes, incapable of mating because of their duties to thefiestreigh.
“And how do you wish to proceed?” Kaj knew bonding with a female wasn’t always simple. Especially not for vampires. Unlike angels, there were no destinies, no aligned souls. No, they were more animalistic in nature when it came to mating. And for them, it wasn’t always a guarantee that the female would choose them. And when they didn’t … put it this way, life was lackluster at best.
“I wish not to scare her,” Mirakel said softly.
“What makes you think you will?”
“I want her too much.”
Kaj smiled but kept it to himself. He understood that all too well. He’d been fighting his true nature for months now. He had yet to allow his inner beast free to bond with the female he desired.
It made perfect sense that Mirakel was working himself to exhaustion, making it impossible for him to claim the female as he wanted. It wasn’t a foolproof plan, but it would buy him some time.
“Does the female know?”
Mirakel shook his head.
She would soon enough. Mirakel would be physically unable to feed from another without getting hostile. Biology be damned, once a male vampire underwentmielix zan, he would refrain from taking blood until it killed him, unless the blood source was the female with whom he’d imprinted.
Of course, it was possible. Kaj had managed for those few weeks after the attack. Not ideal by any means but doable. Especially when one was doing it to protect the one he loved.
“What do you need from me?” Kaj asked, wanting to ensure the male understood he was here to help in any way he could.
“Nothing,phaal. I will handle this, I assure you. But I must apologize for failing you.”
Kaj wanted to roll his eyes but he refrained. Mirakel was one of those pure souls, grateful for everything he’d been given and unwilling to accept that no one expected him to be perfect. His apologies weren’t necessary and they never failed to humble Kaj, remind him of how far Mirakel had come from the boy he’d been when Kaj found him all those years ago.
“You have not failed me, Mirakel. You could never. You are one of the strongest males I know. I trust that you’ll come to me if you need my help.”
Mirakel nodded.
“I’m going to Angel Central. To see Acadia. I’ll return shortly. Stay here for now.”
“Of course,phaal.”
With a resigned sigh, Kaj headed back toward the main floor of the Lair. He found Huracan pacing in what had once been a parlor and was now converted to an entertainment space complete with television mounted on the wall, dartboard, poker table. All the things the males requested for their downtime.
“What’s going on?” Huracan asked, coming to an abrupt halt.
