Not sure what to say to that, Travis patted her knee again.“You should really get some sleep, kiddo.You’ve got school tomorrow.”
Kate nodded, then set the book on the nightstand before fluffing the pillow and flopping down on it, before turning on her side, facing away from him.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, rugrat.”He stood, turned off the bedside lamp, then leaned over and kissed her cheek.“I’ll see you in the mornin’.”
He made it to the door before Kate called him.
“Hmm?”
“Do you think Mommy could come back?”
Stopping at the door, Travis peered back at her.She had turned to look his way.The light from the hallway cast a glow of yellow over her face.She looked so much like Kylie, it made his chest ache.
“Why would you ask that?”
She shrugged again.“I don’t know.”
Something stirred in his chest.It was warm and surprisingly … comforting.
“Goodnight, honey.”
“Night, Daddy-O.”She yawned and rolled over.“I’ll tell Mommy we aren’t givin’ up.She told me we shouldn’t.”
Travis closed her door, keeping his hand on the knob for several seconds.When he finally released it, that something he felt a moment ago shifted inside him.For the first time in one year, eight months, and twenty-four days, hefeltsomething.He wasn’t sure what it was, but he couldn’t seem to fight it.It flowed through him, a powerful surge of … was that relief?
He made his way down the hall to his and Gage’s bedroom, the same bedroom they’d once shared with Kylie.At first, Travis hadn’t been able to sleep in there.It had been too painful.Then Gage had convinced him to try.Despite his pain, he’d given in and found that he felt closer to her there, even with her gone.
Closing the door, he looked around, took it all in.Gage had pulled down the blankets on the bed, but he wasn’t in it.Travis could hear water running in the bathroom, figured he was in there brushing his teeth.
Staring at the bed, he swore he could see Kylie lying on it, stretched out beautifully the way she used to.So fucking beautiful, it hurt to look at her sometimes.He would give anything to get that back, to getherback.
Hope swelled and pulsed in his chest.The feeling was invigorating.
The door to the bathroom opened, and Gage stepped out.“You get Kate to put down the book?”
Rather than answer, Travis turned to look at his husband, admiring him.He was wearing shorts, as he always did when they slept.Having kids who would make their way to the bedroom for various reasons changed things.Gone were the days when they could sleep naked.
Gage stepped closer, worry creasing his brow.“What’s wrong?”
“Nothin’.”And for the first time in one year, eight months, and twenty-four days, he actually meant it.Nothing was wrong.Nothing at all.Because those holes that had been left with Kylie’s absence, those cracks and fissures that had formed, were healing.Not because he was moving on from her.That would never happen.She owned a piece of his soul.Always would.
Gage moved closer.“Travis?You’re scarin’ me.”
He reached for Gage, gripping the back of his neck and pulling him closer.Rather than tell him what he was thinking, Travis leaned in and kissed him.Hard.Demanding.He didn’t hold back, couldn’t.For the first time in so fucking long, he was riding the high that he got from hope.
“Travis…” Gage moaned, his hands insistent, eager.
He swore he could feel his blood pumping in his veins, his heart beating.He felt alive and powerful after months of endless darkness.
Travis made no effort to be gentle or to take his time.He stripped his clothes off, not waiting for Gage to assist.
“Lose the shorts,” he instructed.
“What’s goin’ on?”Gage asked, still watching him, although he did shove his shorts down.
He grabbed Gage’s wrist and pulled him closer to the bed.“Turn around.”
